AGEITIS

A well-known actress we know is suing a major movie website because when it revealed her age, she started losing jobs.

My husband, a legendary performer, is currently being offered jobs for dying grandpas, and great-grandpas with Alzheimer's. Why? Because his age is more or less known, because producers feel if you're over sixty, you are old. (JC would probably do better if he gained 20 pounds and walked with a cane.)

So artists are concerned with age. There's Picasso's haunted looking self portrait on the left. Here's a little Shakespeare: "Friends, Romans, Countrymen," keep away from the numbers.

Keep away from any food, food supplements, pills, talk shows, advisers, therapists, knowledgeable friends, counselors, TV doctors, real living doctors -- keep YOUR BODY & SOUL away from humans who say, "At your age you should ... At your age your shouldn't ..."

Keep away from I should be earning a good living. That's deadly. Also historical summaries: At age ____other artists in my field were already established. Beware of "a person my age shouldn't wear...." Beware of "a person my age can't ... "

If you' trying to sell a book, play, or style, or painting -- or trying to land a job, or go to college and get a degree, or learn a new language, craft, skill, technology, do not think about age. Do not wonder if anyone else has tried -- AT YOUR AGE -- to become a famous, successful, income-producing whatever ... Just do it.

Watch out for age-cliches, age-rationales, age as a factor.

NEVER think at my age I need a flu shot, vitamins, must keep my weight down, exercise, walk, jog. It's okay to be aware of bladder control, but why am I forgetting things? why didn't I hear that? -- THAT will get you to conclusions about how often you need to see the doctor, the dentist, the optometrist.

See doctors if, or when you absolutely need to.

Also, if you're registering or joining something that asks your age, lop off a large chunk of years. If you can't lie, then skip whatever it is.

A world science panel recently said "Age 90 Is the new 50.”

I don't think 90 is the "new" anything, but if age 90 IS the number that says you are old, think of Betty White, 89, and Warren Buffet, age 80, and if you're actually approaching that 80's, don't utter, mutter, or murmur it to anyone, including yourself.

So what about celebrating your birthday. I suggest DO NOT. If you get birthday cards, get the return addresses from the envelope, and throw the cards out. You can't stop people from saying "happy birthday, " but a bunch of people singing "Happy Birthday to YOU!" should be studiously avoided.

Aging is easy if you do the things I've mentioned above, carefully, discreetly and gracefully. If you can't lie, or avoid your loved ones, well ... you will age a little -- not a lot, if you wisely, carefully, cautiously keep eyes and ears open, keep on your toes, and steer clear of the pitfalls listed above.