Saturday, May 2, 2009

WRONG SIDE, RIGHT SIDE

Woke with worry thoughts flickering around. They've been flickering on and off since some wee hour of the morning -- I didn't look at the clock but knew from the pale light creeping around the edge of the window shade, that another day was beginning.

... things I should have done, but haven't done ...
... a letter I needed to write ...
... phone call I should have made yesterday ...
... a pain, just a twinge, an iota of discomfort that I want to ignore ...
... have been ignoring ... shouldn't be ignoring ...

Is it a muscle? Old injury? Cancer?

What unknown trouble could be besetting me? Which doomful decay that someone mentioned, has attached itself to a twig of memory, to a small vulnerable spot that I've put out of my mind ...?

I tell myself: "Think about it later."

Say, "Oh, c'mon, forget it."

Say "Give yourself permission! You did a blog about permission. Put it on the calendar, think about it next month."

Scold myself: "You're ruining the day! You've got fun things to do. Turn it around. Use will power. Catch a day half way."

And obey. Didn't I do a blog about my obey syndrome?

We go for a walk. The sunshine is nice. The warm weather is pleasant.

We buy a hub – 2 USB ports will now be 5. JC can plug in his YAMAHA – hasn't been able to use it since we upgraded our internet stuff.

We asked Ivan, our contractor, to look at the building's facade. Hurray! The painting of the building that's been worrying me for weeks, is now scheduled.

I'm done with the wrong side, heading to the right side! Banishing flickering fears, turning on a bright light in my brain.

... but ... still ... the note on my calendar ... that little pain ...

Stop! click File, click Open.
NEW PAGE
Write about it!

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