Tuesday, April 6, 2010

SANDRA B.

A wall of women is around her, right now, hushing and shushing the invaders.

Who are the invaders? Everyone -- friends and relatives with advice.

And the media with a foray of questions, predictions, opinions (from other celebrities), and breaking news (confessions from adulteresses who insist they're involved). And the paparazzi trespassing with cameras and their own hungry eyes peering into her bedroom, and the doings of her husband Jesse J., who convinced her that she could love-him-trust-him-rest-her-mind, dispel her aloneness.

And he probably isn't what she thought he was.

I don't need to know the real story or the full story.

It's what love is. You can't control whom you fall in love with. You can try. But being in love is being out of control, and even IF, at moments, you perceive something you don't want to see, even IF a voice in you whispers that something doesn't feel right -- if you're in love, you cannot pay attention.

I wouldn't want to be a woman who has never experienced that.

And it's impossible to imagine that Sandra B, with her ability to be fragile subtle, funny, tragic, intense, logical, or impulsively illogical -- a woman who can DO and BE anything and has the intelligence to read scripts and know what roles to try -- it's difficult to believe she wasn't aware of the possibilities that her husband might be unfaithful.

So, did she make a horrible mistake? Blind herself to his vulnerability, his need for success, gratification, adulation? We will never know.

I don't trust anything we've been told, I don't trust the utterances from needy-greedy other women who have a chance now, to make themselves into an "name."

We like you Sandra Annette Bullock, admire you for your talent, and magical abilities to understand and represent so many aspects of what a woman is.

(That's the message I'm sending her -- she doesn't know me, I don't know her, I'm just part of the wall of women thinking about her, wanting to reach out to her.)

Handle it, do with it what you do when you take on a role -- breathe your way into feeling out what Sandra B. needs, wants, wishes, and can do.

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