Monday, February 14, 2011


Today's a good day to scrutinize love.

I sing "Lonely Heart" when my husband, JC, is mostly ignoring me -- watching sports, or fixing something that doesn't need to be fixed.

JC laughs and pays attention. We get along -- we're very different, but we know each other well.

OkCupid. com, a very successful dating site was recently bought by Match. com. for $50 million and they hired Ok's founder to run it. Here's what OK asks all potential "listees."

Recommended first questions:
Is it okay for two unmarried people to live together?
Are you open minded?
Do you brush your teeth? (Wow -- if a person said no, for me it would be a deal breaker.)

Second batch of questions:
Do you believe in God?
Can a racist joke be funny?
Do you like scary movies?
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you put more weight on science or faith?
Has Christianity made the world better or worse ?

JC knows how I'd answer those questions, and I know what he would say. We're not word for word identical -- but, for instance, that I don't believe in miracles fits with what JC understands about miracles. So our differences are okay.

Third batch of questions:
Which is more offensive -- book burning or flag burning?
Should evolution be taught side by side with creationism, in public schools?
Should the death penalty be abolished?
Wouldn't it be fun to chuck everything and go live on a sailboat?
Would you be comfortable being poor the rest of your life?

If I say no and JC says yes, we chat back and forth, and find similarities in why we disagree -- therefore even our disagreements bring us closer together.

When you try the three batches of questions are you closer, or further apart? If you and your potential lover are further apart, try "NONE BUT THE LONELY HEART."

Does your person laugh? (Maybe your person doesn't know the song.)

If you have a song, poem, or silly saying in your head that you think when you're feeling rejected, blue, or bored -- TRY IT OUT. Your partner's response will tell you where the relationship's heading.

Hey, I'm going to write the new and tell them their listees will make faster, better, stronger matches if they disagree, sing a silly song, and laugh. It's not an acid test, but it predicts the future.

1 comment:

Lynne said...

WONDERFUL questions, Emily, rich food for thought . . .