WEINER'S WIFE

Huma Abedin, Mrs. Anthony Weiner -- what a mess to handle, avoid, run away from, or somehow fix!

Eyes on her, millions of people's thoughts on her -- picturing her, inwardly playing out her part in their minds, saying, "Tell him go to hell. Leave him. Divorce him. Move out of your apartment. Talk to a lawyer. Talk to Hillary!"

What Bill Clinton did -- whew, it was worse -- Bill, the president we admired, lying so passionately, so believably -- further destroying what President Nixon destroyed -- our ability to believe in and trust a man in public office.

Mrs. Weiner is silent. She's standing tall, wearing a smallish smile and bright attractive clothes. What is she thinking?

She has a baby growing in her. She's thinking about the baby. She's thinking about her work. She's concentrating on helping her boss who's also in transition. Hillary said, a few months ago, she will not continue on as Secretary of State. Has Hillary, will Hillary change her mind?

There's more than bad thoughts, ugly visions, shockingly wrong deeds that were done by her husband. What Weiner is, or was, is out-of-whack, twisted, very, very sick -- not with fever, but with out of control, fevered needs that say "help! help!" as if he'd attempted suicide and been saved, last minute, by a neighbor who called the police.

What created the "suicide"? I think it was sexual needs, an overflow of hormone pressure, or whatever creates a man's desperate need to ejaculate. Urgent need.

Yes, he was probably lonely, depressed, not sure of himself, his life, his love, his absent wife -- we have millions of horrible thoughts that don't need to be examined, organized, figured out -- thoughts come and go.

I would, if I were she, keep going with my life, my feelings.

Anger, annoyance, disgust -- whatever -- you can deal with them. They don't have to expressed. Yes. it's easier for you if you blurt them out. Yes, the words will create a sad, wriggling, living part of you that will not disappear, or ever vanish or go away. But you can live with that, and be you.

You've made something together, you are deeply, in the flesh, connected by what you and he created.

I'm saying don't think about anyone else but you and him, or pay attention to what others have said or done.

Divorce is acceptable. Divorce is what most women would do. Why didn't Hillary divorce Bill, a long time ago before he was president? The list of women who had to throw away the man, tells you divorce him. cut him off. It's sensible. It's self-protective. If what's left is so ugly-- you need to throw it away.

I say NO. Don't do anything.

I don't throw away living things, and Anthony Weiner is a living man whom you loved -- love for what you found in him and decided to marry. Deal with him as sick, and help him get well with tons and tons of chicken soup.

Chicken soup? When your own heart is broken and your head is full of black thoughts?

Yep. Drink it with him. Digest it together.

And see, feel, how things go.

DR. DEATH

Doctor Jack Kevorkian died on Friday, June 3rd, a month ago.

I want to thank Dr. Kevorkian for what he did. I can't, won't, don't want to write about the moral issues. For me personally, the moral issues have very little significance.

I could say "NO significance." but I don't want to insult or disregard your feelings about what's right and what's wrong.

I need to be the master of my fate, the captain of my soul, the boss, the decider about what I do, or don't do with my life, my time.

Dr. Kevorkian gave himself, his life, his energy, his career, to providing a way for people to end their lives.

His presence, his point of view, his deep concern, passion, belief, the philosophy he lived by -- his ideology -- just his presence on earth is, was and still is a support for what I feel about the end of MY life.

It is my life!

My life is mine!

It is up to me to live my life, or not!

What follows below, I copied from an article in the New York Times. Written by Ross Douthat, , conservative American author, blogger, and a New York Times columnist, this appeared two days after Kevorkian's death.

"We are all dying, day by day: do the terminally ill really occupy a completely different moral category from the rest? A cancer patient’s suffering isn’t necessarily more unbearable than the more indefinite agony of someone living with multiple sclerosis or quadriplegia or manic depression. And not every unbearable agony is medical: if a man losing a battle with Parkinson’s disease can claim the relief of physician-assisted suicide, then why not a devastated widower, or a parent who has lost her only child? This isn’t a hypothetical slippery slope. Jack Kevorkian spent his career putting this dark, expansive logic into practice ... "

Okay, the Times Op Ed writer was expressing his own personal moral convictions, and they are different from mine.

I am mourning the death of Dr. Jack Kevorkian. People who read what I write, often write back to me, and share with me, what they think. That sharing helps me and touches me. That's why I am posting this.

As playwright Arthur Miller said, at the end "Death of a Salesman" -- I feel "attention must be paid."

TAKING A DAY OFF

TO go HIKING


SEE GREEN things



And THINK

TENNIS PLAYER JOHN CULLUM (Video)

When I saw him play tennis, I was bowled over. He was exciting and confident and a winner as an actor, and it never occurred to me that this same 'star" quality would be evident on a tennis court.

I wish we'd developed a way to share tennis, but I couldn't handle backhand, and never really could absorb the "choreography" involved with serving. Nowadays, we watch all the major tournaments, with me delighted to be watching John, and listening to his running comments on the players , and the progression of each game.

I've asked him, more than once, how he would describe himself as a tennis player. He said, "I was a very good tennis player, tournament level."