Friday, April 13, 2012

FORGETTING


My agent friend said, "Ooo, I had a senior moment!"

I laughed appropriately, but I didn't feel like laughing. This friend was more or less my age. We were having a mile-a-minute conversation about books, trends, publishers -- dropping names, numbers -- how much so-and-so was paid for such-and-such a book, and the virtues of publishing my books as e-books.

I wanted to get out of his office, get back to my house, my place, my world, where I don't deal with "senior" anything.

When I lose a name, I say -- whatshername -- and just breeze on. When I was talking to another friend (quite some time ago, but I remember the conversation), I couldn't remember the name of the tiny machine you carry if you're an accountant -- "calculator."

That was the day I started a file called "Verbee," and began putting down words and names I forgot.

I've had trouble remembered Robin Williams' name, Anthony Hopkins' and actor Len Cariou's. "Paparazzi" comes and goes ... Also: "boeuf bourguignon, poinsettia, c'mon, and dilemma.

I'm not going to type out all the words on the Verbee list -- like "paraplegic" (typing it just now, I had to check the spelling twice).

And spelling -- I lose the ability to choose between lose (loose), choose (chose). My blog coach Fran has to proofread each blog I write, because I often misspell words, even common ordinary ones.

And computer processes -- two months ago I could open the "GARAGE BAND" program on our Mac computer -- we used it for the sound effects last year, when we did a staged reading of my play "Shattering Panes." Yesterday ... duh ... I forgot how to open, retrieve and use Garage Band so I could record John Cullum reading the first chapters of each of my six novels.

Okay -- but on THIS computer, my pal, my friend whom I meet with every day and use as my writing tool -- I certainly haven't forgotten any processes. I can do anything and everything I need to do, and MORE.

So, are my lapses -- spelling, names, words -- memory lapses? Or are they OVERLOAD?

Reality: My computer situation is seriously, confusingly complicated -- two new machines plus the three computers I'm using -- I'm running back-and-forth, doing this-and-that on five different operating systems. Plus I'm writing four blog-posts each week -- each with a different subject, different research.

Golly, all that, plus the barrage of the latest polls, the latest political attacks, wrong-doings, potential international issues, the very latest news, the nonstop ads -- all the stuff I'm being sold, or told is different, is better, while I'm simultaneously warned that it's dangerous, "beware," "do not use."

Dr. Em says: "Forgetting is not something you ought to be regretting."

I'm thinking that NOT REMEMBERING, is my brain, my body, maintaining its equilibrium.

Albert Einstein said:
“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.”
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