Tuesday, October 1, 2013
If Huma Weiner, wife of Anthony Weiner, were my friend, what would I say to her?
Hillary, attending Huma's wedding in 2010, said, "I only have one daughter. But if I had a second daughter, it would be Huma."
As a wife and mother, Huma has continued to work for the State Department as a part time research assistant for various departments. That her religion is Islam, that she speaks Arabic as well as English fluently, has enabled her to provide information that helps our government make decisions.
Has her Islamic, Arabian background been questioned? Oh yes, as her support of her husband is being questioned.
How she tolerated but adjusted to what Anthony Weiner did -- the sex conversations he had with women he didn't know, his sending naked photos of himself -- has made headlines. That Huma supported him, was at his side, as he began his campaign to be the Democratic candidate for Mayor of New York City, impressed me. But the additional revelations that came out when Weiner was in the middle of his campaign -- that he was still having online relationships, still conversing online with women about sex ... whew!
Addiction? Mental illness? Whatever word you attach to this behavior, to me it seems suicidal. Weiner is apparently compelled to do something that can destroy him, his career, his marriage, and family.
How has Huma managed to handle this? Her face tells the story. (She's not a pretty woman though with her hair loose, and her occasional smile, one sees that she can be very attractive, charming, seductive.) One sees a clear-eyed, fearless, vulnerable woman seeking the truth.
Why did Weiner play sex games online? Was it for arousal, pleasure in danger? Is there a sex problem in his love life with Huma?
It's not the Bill Clinton story of other women.
I don't know how Hillary acted, reacted, handled, didn't handle what Bill is, and Bill's need for other women, but her behavior has made her what I think she is -- a strong, tender, realistic, practical, tough-minded survivor and supporter of her husband. And Bill Clinton continues to be, what I think he is -- a brilliant, wise, leader whose ideas have helped millions of people throughout the world.
Is Huma is imitating Hillary? I don't think Huma is an imitator, or a follower. More likely, she is reacting to what she senses and feels about her husband's ideas as a leader who can help people.
I think she loves and believes in what Anthony Weiner stands for.
Okay, I don't understand what's wrong with him or what has created the self-destructive element that I sense in him, and I don't know how Huma, the woman, his lover and mate contributes to this. Based on my personal experiences, I am convinced that our cultural convictions about infidelity -- about what's right or wrong sexually, what's acceptable, unacceptable -- tend to warp us, not just confuse us, but put ideas in our heads based on fiction, on movies, on the doings of our movie star heroes and heroines.
The Weiners' campaign is over. He lost.
So, my friend Huma -- I know you will hear, see, read, and be told that you love a guy who can't change, he's warped. You'll be told that his sickness will ruin your life, and even hurt your son. Even so, hold on to what you are feeling. While your are holding onto what you feel, all the negative things will take root and maybe grow -- or -- maybe they will wither.
I think you should focus on what's next; what he does, says, and tries to do in his career, and what you want to do with your life --career and personal things/. Take hold of what you tell yourself to do.
Focus on that.