Thursday, December 18, 2014

THE TWO YOU'S

When pressure is on you to do something -- start it, finish it, make a decision, confront an issue -- if you don't start, finish, decide, confront, you are immobilized.

There are two of you -- Grownup-you, and Child-you.

Grownup Em  has learned the rules, has had experiences, coped, handled, negotiated, choreographed, avoided, confronted, and accomplished many things.

Child-Em has needs, fears, impractical dreams, and expectations. She often feels quite small, vulnerable, and not very capable.

Child-Em  panics. Wants to hide, or sleep, or watch a dumb TV show.

Grownup-Em tells Child-Em what to do, or not do, and calms her by pointing her in a direction.

If you remind the child parentally -- patiently, logically, lovingly -- the child feels safer, and can even handle rather scary things. Therefore, the Grownup-you needs to guide the Child-you, into "Tackle one thing at a time."

The Grownup knows how to organize disorder into an orderly sequence of activities.

Like -- "One two, button my shoe,
Three, four, close the door,
Five, six, pick up sticks.
Seven, eight, close the gate.
NINE -- you're fine!
Ten is not the "big fat hen,"
It's just the end.

So LOVE the Child and coddle the Child,
Tell the Child in you "it's okay."
Help the Child push worries away,
Banish, make vanish all the fears --
And strongly advocate "no tears!"
The balm is being calm.
It helps the two of you
Unwind, and re-find
Peace of mind.


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