HAPPY BIRTHDAY MESSAGE FOR MY SON

Dear JD, I wrote this for myself before my last birthday because I didn't like being a year older, and I wasn't sure what project to do next.

Since March 1 is your birthday, and the show you were in just closed, you'll be thinking about your career as an actor -- what to do next -- stay in LA, move to NYC, work on a one-man show, or maybe teach. When pressure is on you to do something -- start something new, finish an unfinished project, make a decision, confront an issue -- if you do not start/ finish/ decide/ confront/ -- you are immobilized.

JD, there are two you's -- Grownup-You, and Child-You.

Grownup-Em has coped, handled, negotiated, avoided, confronted, and accomplished many things -- Child-Em has fears, impractical dreams, and expectations -- often feels unsure, not very capable, wants to sleep, or watch a dumb TV show -- but sooner or later Grownup-Em tells Child-Em what to do, or not do, and calms the child self by pointing the child in a direction.

Jd, if you chat with the Child-You patiently, logically, lovingly, the child feels safer, and can even handle scary things. The Grownup-You knows how to organize disorder into an orderly sequence of activities, like....

One, two, button my shoe.
Three, four, close the door,

Five, six, pick up sticks.

Seven, eight, close the gate.

NINE -- you're fine!

Ten is not the "big fat hen,"

It's just the end of a sequence.

Jd, tell the child in you it's okay, and

Help the child push worries away and

Banish, make vanish all the fears --

And strongly advocate "no tears!"

The balm is being calm.

It helps the two you's

Unwind, and re-find

Peace of mind.

Jd, that's my happy birthday message.

Care for, support, love your child parentally.
Parent the Child-You.