AD LIES

I shut my eyes, turn away, refuse to watch the ads for cosmetics.

The pills make me shout at the TV -- "What a lie!"

Don't want to mention by name but --
That pill that claims you're pain free on two- a-day ...
That one-a-day pills that give you all the nutrients your body needs ...
That sleep pill that "isn't habit forming" which is, of course, habit forming ...
That "miracle" pill --"just one will save your life ..."
I HATE THOSE ADS!

PERSONAL PET PEEVE:
The lose weight biz -- all those "have fun, just join and you can be one of those lovely, energetic. taut-bodied girl exercisers, dancing away in well rehearsed unison -- those step up, step down boxes -- the rotating pelvis bump and grind routines -- the machines PROVED by "clinical trials," PROVED by the handsome Hunk and the well-bunned Babe with their muscular perfect torsos, teaching you everything you need to know ...

Lies. Lies. Lies!

It's not much different -- no, it's the same as those never- scrub-your-toilet-anymore devices, the spray-away-germs-guaranteed liquids -- sort of like hamburger helper, cheese whiz, SUV's, Retinol wrinkle-erase creams ... so many things there are in ads that bring on E.I. -- The Expectation Infection.

Which is a fever, one that keeps you from doing what you yourself know you need to do for pain, for keeping in shape, keeping various household things relatively sanitary. What to do? Write e-mails, letters, phone whom? What does Em suggest?

Be wary. E. I. is seriously contagious. Best to close your eyes, and hum a tune when the ads lie.