Saturday, October 24, 2009

FORGETTING

My friend said, "Ooo, I had a senior moment! "

I laughed appropriately, but I didn't feel like laughing. This friend was twenty years younger than I. We were having a mile-a-minute conversation about books, trends, publishers -- name dropping names, and numbers -- how much so-and-so was paid for such-and-such a book.

I wanted to get out of her office, get back to my house, my place, my world where I don't deal with "senior" anything.

When I lose a name, I say -- whatshername -- and just breeze on. When I was talking to another friend (quite some time ago but I remember the conversation), I couldn't remember the name of the tiny machine you carry if you're an accountant -- "calculator."

That was the day I started a file called "Verbee," and began putting down words and names I forgot.

I've had trouble remembered Robin Williams' name, Anthony Hopkins' and actor Len Cariou. "Paparazzi" comes and goes ... Also: "boeuf bourguignon. poinsettia, c'mon, dilemma, George Wallace, Lee Strasberg," etcetera.

I'm not going to type out all the words on the Verbee list -- like "paraplegic" (typing it just now, I had to check the spelling twice).

And spelling -- I lose the ability to choose between lose (loose), choose (chose). My blog coach Fran has to proofread each blog I write, because I often misspell words, even common ordinary ones.

And computer processes. -- two months ago I could open the "Neo Office" program on our Mac computer -- we used it for the sound effects last year, when we did a staged reading of "Shattering Panes." Yesterday ... duh ... I forgot how to open, retrieve and use Neo Office.

Okay -- but on THIS computer, my pal, my friend whom I meet with every day and use as my writing tool -- I certainly haven't forgotten any processes. I can do anything and everything I need to do, and MORE.

So, are my lapses -- spelling, names, words -- memory lapses? Or are they OVERLOAD?

Reality: Our new stove has burners that turn on differently. And our new window frames keep us warmer so I've been re-programming our thermostat daily. Also, the computer situation is s crazy -- two new ones plus the three computers I'm using -- I'm running back-and-forth, doing this-and-that on five different operating systems. Plus I'm writing seven blog stories each week -- each with a different subject, different research.

Golly, all that, plus the barrage of new things surrounding me -- got a bunch of new cleaning supplies, two floors with different sweepers and dust-busters, and let's not forget our cell phone applications, the digital camera pictures I download/upload on the computer, and the very latest news, the nonstop ads -- all the stuff I'm being sold, or told is different, is better, while I'm simultaneously warned that it's dangerous,"beware," "do not use."

Dr. Em says: "Forgetting is not something you ought to be regretting."

I'm thinking that NOT REMEMBERING, is my brain, my body, maintaining its equilibrium.

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