I' m clock watching, waiting on eastern standard time, for techies on pacific time, mountain time, and central time to open their doors. I've brought in my 6-foot ladder so I can tidy the shelf above my computer. (It's got my "good luck" goodies on it. When your computer's sick, you need prayers, good luck, and clear-speaking techies to tell you what to do.)
Yes -- the problem could be the printer. It could be the keyboard. The worst thing, the problem I'm dreading -- oh dear -- if it's Word Perfect, the word processing application I use for writing my blog, that's a time-eating disaster.
I'm going to dust my shelf ...
Wowie! Whoopee! I almost fell off the ladder! Bunched up behind my Indian Dancing Doll,
I found this --
a paper bracelet --
fortune cookie fortunes -- a bunch of them taped together -- some blown up big, others normal, tiny print --
great fortunes on it.
ALL YOUR HARD WORK WILL SOON PAY OFF.
I don't remember when I got the fortune cookie, but I remember I wanted to kiss the paper -- I was working on a revision of "Woman of the Century," (see The Readery, it's the book about Cordelia titled "Somebody.") I was going slightly nuts over my agent's notes -- "It's too long, Em -- cut some of the history!"
We had a copier. I made three, large-size copies of the HARD WORK fortune and scotch-taped them to my monitor.
10:45 a.m.
The techie (Carol) on the west coast, taking remote control of my computer, worked with me for two-and-a-half hours -- ran tests, uninstalled, re-installed, went to HP.com and downloaded new drivers. It's not the printer. Carol, like a good friend, stayed on line while I tested two other keyboards.
11:30 a.m.
It's not the keyboard. Now I'm in a cue of twenty callers, waiting for, hoping for, praying for some simple solution from a Word Perfect techie. Some of them are grumpy, unfriendly, and too quickly want to re-install the whole application.
A NEW ASSIGNMENT OR SPECIAL RECOGNITION WILL COME YOUR WAY.
I hope you know that I don't believe in fortune tellers, or what the cookie fortunes say-- but gee, that one's worth framing.
YOU WILL SOON GAIN SOMETHING YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED
I did. I got a "hot" nibble on that book. I remember it was Christmas and everyone toasted me with eggnog. Cordelia almost got published, but ... well, by the time the weather got warm and lovely, I had another version of Cordelia's story underway, and a producer optioned "Karen of Troy" for a TV movie. (That novel's also on The Readery.)
CHANCES ARE PRESENT TO MAKE HUGE PERSONAL GAINS.
I was gaining discipline, and a tough, mean eye on my writing, learning how to cut, and the danger in falling in love with a secondary character, or a pretty phrase.
YOU WILL RECEIVE SOME HIGH PRIZE OR AWARD.
When you get a prediction like that, you tape it to your monitor.
1:12 p.m.
The Word Perfect techie, Hans, who had helped me in August, is grumpy but patient, and he has strong, clear speech. He tested -- he tried this and that, (things I'd tried on my own before calling for help) -- he warned me that I might have to re-install the entire application. My heart sank, as I reached for my list of processes that have to be customized ...
2:20 p.m.
"Ah ha ," Hans said. "You don't have to re-install! Just make a new template!"
4:00 p.m.
Well, here I am. It took one-hour-and- twenty minutes to do a new template. The problem -- it seems to be solved.
YOU WILL HEAR PLEASANT NEWS.
I'm smiling -- I've check everything --computer's back to normal -- I'm admiring my hand with the fortune cookie bracelet -- the paper's dusty, the scotch-taped fortune cookie fortunes are fragile, bent, slightly torn.
Thank goodness I enlarged, my favorite --
ALL YOUR HARD WORK WILL SOON PAY OFF.
Peering down at my bracelet, lifting my hand so I can read those good
words once more, I take the bracelet off.
4:35 p.m. (Cup of fresh hot coffee's sitting next to me,)
I've skimmed the fortunes -- special recognition ... gain something ... huge personal gains ... receive high prize ... pleasant news. I've slipped the bracelet over the Indian Dancing Doll. Now I'm finishing this post.
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