I' m clock watching, waiting on eastern standard time, for techies on pacific time, mountain time, and central time to open their doors. I've brought in my 6-foot ladder so I can tidy the shelf above my computer. (It's got my "good luck" goodies on it. When your computer's sick, you need prayers, good luck, and clear-speaking techies to tell you what to do.)
Yes -- the problem could be the printer. It could be the keyboard. The worst thing, the problem I'm dreading -- oh dear -- if it's Word Perfect, the word processing application I use for writing my blog, that's a time-eating disaster.
I'm going to dust my shelf ...
Wowie! Whoopee! I almost fell off the ladder! Bunched up behind my Indian Dancing Doll,
I found this --
a paper bracelet --
fortune cookie fortunes -- a bunch of them taped together -- some blown up big, others normal, tiny print --
great fortunes on it.
ALL YOUR HARD WORK WILL SOON PAY OFF.
I don't remember when I got the fortune cookie, but I remember I wanted to kiss the paper -- I was working on a revision of "Woman of the Century," (see The Readery, it's the book about Cordelia titled "Somebody.") I was going slightly nuts over my agent's notes -- "It's too long, Em -- cut some of the history!"
We had a copier. I made three, large-size copies of the HARD WORK fortune and scotch-taped them to my monitor.
The techie (Carol) on the west coast, taking remote control of my computer, worked with me for two-and-a-half hours -- ran tests, uninstalled, re-installed, went to HP.com and downloaded new drivers. It's not the printer. Carol, like a good friend, stayed on line while I tested two other keyboards.
It's not the keyboard. Now I'm in a cue of twenty callers, waiting for, hoping for, praying for some simple solution from a Word Perfect techie. Some of them are grumpy, unfriendly, and too quickly want to re-install the whole application.
A NEW ASSIGNMENT OR SPECIAL RECOGNITION WILL COME YOUR WAY.
I hope you know that I don't believe in fortune tellers, or what the cookie fortunes say-- but gee, that one's worth framing.
YOU WILL SOON GAIN SOMETHING YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED
I did. I got a "hot" nibble on that book. I remember it was Christmas and everyone toasted me with eggnog. Cordelia almost got published, but ... well, by the time the weather got warm and lovely, I had another version of Cordelia's story underway, and a producer optioned "Karen of Troy" for a TV movie. (That novel's also on The Readery.)
CHANCES ARE PRESENT TO MAKE HUGE PERSONAL GAINS.
I was gaining discipline, and a tough, mean eye on my writing, learning how to cut, and the danger in falling in love with a secondary character, or a pretty phrase.
YOU WILL RECEIVE SOME HIGH PRIZE OR AWARD.
When you get a prediction like that, you tape it to your monitor.
The Word Perfect techie, Hans, who had helped me in August, is grumpy but patient, and he has strong, clear speech. He tested -- he tried this and that, (things I'd tried on my own before calling for help) -- he warned me that I might have to re-install the entire application. My heart sank, as I reached for my list of processes that have to be customized ...
"Ah ha ," Hans said. "You don't have to re-install! Just make a new template!"
Well, here I am. It took one-hour-and- twenty minutes to do a new template. The problem -- it seems to be solved.
YOU WILL HEAR PLEASANT NEWS.
I'm smiling -- I've check everything --computer's back to normal -- I'm admiring my hand with the fortune cookie bracelet -- the paper's dusty, the scotch-taped fortune cookie fortunes are fragile, bent, slightly torn.
Thank goodness I enlarged, my favorite --
ALL YOUR HARD WORK WILL SOON PAY OFF.
Peering down at my bracelet, lifting my hand so I can read those good
words once more, I take the bracelet off.
4:35 p.m. (Cup of fresh hot coffee's sitting next to me,)
I've skimmed the fortunes -- special recognition ... gain something ... huge personal gains ... receive high prize ... pleasant news. I've slipped the bracelet over the Indian Dancing Doll. Now I'm finishing this post.