Wednesday, November 9, 2011

TWO YOUS



When pressure is on you to do something -- start it, finish it, make a decision, confront an issue -- you're immobilized.

There are two yous -- Grownup you, and Child you.

Grownup Em has had experiences, learned the rules, and coped with many things.

Child Em has needs, fears, impractical dreams, and expectations. She often feels quite small, vulnerable, and not very capable.

Child Em panics. Wants to hide, or sleep, or watch a dumb TV show.

Grownup Em tells Child Em what to do, or not do, and calms her by pointing her in a direction.

If you remind the child, parentally -- patiently, logically, lovingly -- the child feels safer, and can even handle rather scary things. Therefore, the Grownup-you needs to guide the Child-you into "Tackle one thing at a time."

The Grownup knows how to organize disorder into an orderly sequence of activities.

Like -- "One two, button my shoe,
Three, four, close the door,
Five, six,. pick up sticks.
Seven, eight, close the gate.
NINE -- you're fine!
Ten is not the "big fat hen,"
It's just the end.

So LOVE your child and coddle your child,
Tell the child in you it's okay.
Help the child push worries away.
Banish, make vanish all the fears --
And strongly advocate "no tears!"
The balm is being calm.
It' helps the two yous
Unwind, and re-find
Peace of mind.
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