WHAT IF THERE'S NO HELL?

That question, for me is ... What if there's no heaven?

A preacher named Rob Bell has blossomed suddenly in the news. He's the pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Michigan. Bell is packing in 7000 people every Sunday, ever since he wrote a bestseller -- "Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived."

Bell, age 40, is selling his books, DVDs, giving sermons, writing another book, publishing articles, and building a huge following. His personal story -- about his family, his energy and fire, his theology and how he's evolved as pastor is a story to tell. But not right now.

The idea that there's no hell is washed away by my wondering WHAT IF THERE'S NO HEAVEN?

I don't think God is dead. I don't think of religion in terms of what's right or wrong. I just feel far, far away from the succor, familial comfort, talk of church, religion, belief in life after death, salvation, or judgement.

Okay, I'm a self-evolved person. I didn't go to any church and I wasn't brought up with any religious beliefs. I just learned, as I've traveled through the years -- do unto others ... My commandments are listen, pay attention, and help others always, always, if it's possible.

The idea of life after death is not an idea I accept. And having researched, and looked for what to say about Christianity -- well -- I'm quoting what I read: "The standard Christian view of salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, that's summed in the Gospel of John, which promises ' eternal life to whosoever believeth in him' -- I don't buy it.

I can't buy it, though it might make my aging, my awareness that I'm approaching the end of my life easier to accept.

Even if you (who are reading this) have a better way of summarizing Christianity -- I shake my head "no." My own logical, practical thoughts, my own experiences with life and death, my parents and brother who have died, and are gone -- tell me, require me, to gather around me, my memories, and say "I will be gone," cremated, gone.

I keep my parents and other important people in my life alive by thinking of them, referring to them in my mind, using what I saw and learned from them. They have life after death because I keep them alive.

Will anyone keep me alive? Sure -- my son and husband, and friends whom I've touched. I have touched people with the attention I've paid to them. Does it comfort me? I don't require comfort. I only ask of myself to live and affirm, whenever possible, and pay attention to people.

INK PENS GIFT (video)

I no longer have time to make beautifully tailored shirts for John Cullum, But I can mend a tear, now and then, on a shirt sleeve or pajama sleeve. And, I can also iron a patch onto his favorite jeans. I must admit, I like to shop for clothes for him, and keep what he wears looking nice.

Every so often, JC (or I, myself) get intensely focused on fixing something -- usually something for our home, but all of a sudden, John got fixated on pens and pencils.

It was fun. We shopped, and got in six automatic pencils and lead. Then, we bought three dozen packages of #2 pencils, and three dozen packages of standard pens.

More than likely, the packages had been sitting on the store shelf for a year or so, because the pens in two of the packages didn't write.

And so our ink pens adventure began. John and Emily discuss how the ink pen's became significant.

"STAND BY YOUR MAN"

I was browsing, turning pages in one of my magazines, thinking there is nothing here I want to write about ...

The center pages fell open with "OBAMA'S COLLAPSING BASE" emblazoned across the middle of them. Heavy-hearted, because a lot of bad things have been happening, not been happening -- because of all the on-and-on talk about the deficit, I feel as if we're building a high wall around "progress."

Paying off the national debt is what the Repubs are selling, pushing, yelling about -- promoting because they ain't got nothing else they are promoting.

Also, a lot of conservatives, and seriously behind-the-times Americans think "Yes sir, we gotta pay off that national debt so my grand kids and their kids don't have to worry about it."

Of course, we may all be dead, or maybe the country will be a shambles, poverty-stricken, possibly non-existent, because we didn't take care of the environment, or people died from lack of food -- no money to buy it, no medical help.

Yes, we picked Obama, and he's trying to negotiate with the Repubs, but it seems to be impossible to negotiate without killing just about everything that is already on the table, or is even vaguely, hopefully, on the table at some point.

And in the meantime, a lot of Dems are wavery-quavery -- they don't want to lose their jobs, but they're losing them because they haven't protected their jobs or stood up for anything. They're just sort of leaning toward the Repubs.

What can we do, what do we do, about all this, about EVERYTHING -- jobs, immigration, Medicare, health care, energy, environment, our wars, nuclear stuff, banks, Wall Street, rebuilding roads/railroads/bridges, our electric grid -- (have I forgotten five or six other things?).

We put Obama in charge and everything he's done, we have been wavering/quavering over, wiggling, testing, double-triple-questioning, based on the way we've been brain-washed into doing, since we elected him. We listen to the polls and hear the questions and pay attention to every Tom, Dick, Prick, and Harry. Get scared, and tentative, and the people that need to support the president back off a few feet and IN creeps doubt, compromise, alternates and more talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

"Stand by your man," sang Patsy Cline.. We need to stand by him -- stand strong, and build a wall of support so that the brainy guy we picked to fix things can fix them. Yes, Obama's human. Yes, he makes mistakes, ("The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything," said Theodoree Roosevelt/)

He's cordial and kind and listens carefully to his opponents because, as a boy, he learned from his father daddy to listen to others, to empathize.

(Read the book Barack Obama wrote about this, for God's sake --"Dreams from My Father." He wrote the damn book and explained all this before we was ever a candidate).

Obama is empathizing with the Repubs and, and ... and ....... we are complaining and getting nowhere.

Yes -- . the big bad wolf-Bin Laden is dead. We suddenly think Obama isn't a wimp. Can we just for a few months, please shut up, stand by our man, OUR PERSON -- tell others to stand by our man, not argue and nit-pick. And support him and let him lead and win the next election and a Congress to implement some of the things that must get done if our country is going to continue to be a beautiful wonderful, healthy, peaceful, safe place to live?