WISHFUL THINKING

If you are a would-be writer, James Patterson's thought processes will interest you -- the state of his ego, compared to yours and mine.

In my office's lavatory, there's a magazine rack. The magazine I grabbed fell open -- lo and behold-- James Patterson, writer of books that I've read, liked, didn't like, hated, admired -- was talking about himself.

Everything this guy writes turns into a best seller. For me as a reader, quite often the story is too slick and hard to follow -- too often I have to re-read to stay with the plot.

In July's Time, answering readers' questions, Patterson said, "I'm a story teller!" He explained that he has a staff -- he works on many projects simultaneously -- screenplays, short stories, comic book ideas, kids' books, as well as mystery novels. (My staff is John Cullum, my favorite actor, reader, and Fran Weil, web designer, editor-- we work on one project at a time, though Fran is also creating the covers for my e-books.)

Patterson "loves to write plots," and admits, "I don't remember my character's names, but characters are not my specialty." (Gee, more than anything I enjoy birthing a character -- everything about him/her -- they become part of my life.)

Back in his mid-twenties, Patterson's s first mystery, "The Thomas Berryman Number," was turned down by 31 publishers but got the "Edgar" award for the best first novel. ( Edgar is the literary world's Oscar for mystery writers.)

Is Patterson super lucky? Or is it his talent? My first novel was turned down 55 times so my agent stopped sending it out. But major agents have represented me. One of my novels was published by Bantam; my biography, written by a sports writer was published by Prentice Hall. Neither book sold 10,000 copies --both were "dumped" by the publishers, on sale in bargain pins.

Patterson says he learned early on that "story" is what matters. He said, "My favorite books,- 'One Hundred Years Of Solitude,' and 'Ulysses,' are very complicated but my own style -- we just tell a story." (His favorites are considered masterpieces by many critics, but for me, they're a struggle to read.)

"What's the hardest part, for you, as a writer?" a reader asked Patterson.

"The end, to make sure it's there. If I'm not satisfied, then I don't feel like I enjoyed this dinner somehow," Patterson explained, adding that he's "very emotional about writing the end." (To me, he sounds like a very emotional, business man, but I like him, he's down to earth, and unpretentious.)

Since most everyone I know, at some point has wanted to be successful writer, I wonder how Patterson's revelations affect you. (I have to admit, his success makes me feel like a failure.)

A reader asked Patterson, "Wwhat do you do when you're not writing?". Patterson said that he was a family person -- he loves to travel and he loves golf. Well, I'm blogging on Facebook -- is that a recreation? I don't earn a living from writing, but the fact is, my recreation is writing.

How does Patterson feel about other authors who criticize him for not having much style? He says, 'There are thousands of people who don't like what I do. Fortunately there are millions who do."

I'm saying that I don't think I will be a best seller writer when I grow up. My wishful thinking is down-to-earth practical. I just want what I wrote to be read.

Hurray -- my novels are being published as e-books, and YOU are reading this post!

MAKE FRIENDS WITH ROBOTS

Want a pal, a toy, a helper for your home, or office?

University of Chicago's new library has a Librarian robot that sorts books faster than a human can. (I've worked in a library, sorting books -- my eyeballs rolled. I found it an almost intolerably boring job.)

In Ohio, Motoman Robotics created a bartender robot that mixes drinks in less time than a human takes, and can crack lame jokes. (How lame is lame? If I owned a bar I'd hire a real bartender.)

Google's negotiating, getting permission, so its robotic car that can drive itself, can be tested as a taxi service in Las Vegas. (Wow, you wave it down? What about traffic jams, and tips? What happens if you change your mind?)

Roxxxy made by Bell Labs comes with lifelike skin and artificial intelligence. (Gee, do you actually um ... uh, does a sex robot kiss you back?)

The pentagon is getting a "Mule" from Lockheed-Martin, a robotic truck that can fire missiles. (Yes, they're working on robotic soldiers.)

Self-service checkout at the supermarket, industrial robots carve animal carcasses in slaughter-houses, law offices have artifical intelligence software to read legal documents. Yes, machines are kicking workers out of their jobs. (So don't plan on being a cashier, butcher, or paralegal.)

Top-notch surgeons use robots. A medical bot can cost $2.2 million, says manufacturer Intuitive Surgical, of Sunnyvale, Calif. (It makes me nervous that they sold 400 of them just last year.)

Ever considered buying iRobot's Roomba, the vacuum cleaner? (I have -- love watching it bump around chairs, table legs but we don't have rugs.)

iRobot's also selling Ava, a three-foot-tall droid on wheels that tabulates data on a tablet computer (Gee. Ava could keep track of show biz doings, though with JC's manager and agent working for him, we don't really need to know who's doing what.)

Clearly, bots are already having an impact on jobs. And robotics are helping our kids, creating games, new worlds, and toys that shape young minds -- better than Smurfs, Elmo, windup cars, toy-soldiers or Barbie dolls. (Think--good God -- how many blondes we're seeing nowadays.)

The Hanson Robot Doll has changeable heads -- Einstein, Zenoa-do-it all boy, Alice do-it-all girl, and a head you can design. If you've got $15,000 to spare, you can buy your kid a sibling, an Uncle/Aunt, or get yourself whatever you need.

Hey someday, a robot could be writing this blog for me. Click, and see where we're heading.



What about a receptionist for your business?



Here's "Leonardo" -- a lovely loveable pet.

SELLING YOU (video)

Em wants to do a video blog about self promotion, and advise would-be artists about selling themselves.

John Cullum talks specifics, and describes how Em, back in the days when she was just a beginner, sold a dance duo, (herself and Mark Ryder), even though they had no program, no photos, or choreography.

"You sold yourself, alright -- you sold what you invented, Em."

Em admits she used her writing skills back then -- creating a brochure, a program with descriptions of the choreography. John reminds her that she even wrote reviews for the program she was selling before it existed.

As their discussion unfolds the story, Em wants her readers and friends to know that "selling" yourself isn't difficult if you sell what you believe in.

MICHELE BACHMANN

When I first saw her about two years ago, I thought, "OH NO" What I saw in that photo, the face, the words that were quoted seemed ... oh dear, so righteous, so self-promoting, and unseeing of the real world

Now KA-BOOM, Michele Bachmann is all over the news, proclaiming her truths.

Her face is symmetrical, perfectly shaped, unwrinkled.. BUT -- gee -- her eyes. The beam of her blue eyes bothers me. Those eyes stare at the camera and beyond, and say she's utterly secure about her ideas and thoughts -- be they religious convictions, certainties, personal ideology.

That look in her eyes is not just what she's figured out. It's in her genes, her bones, her bearing, her thoughts and language, her everything.

She's almost beautiful but there's a cold something -- sternness? Or is it an unbending, impenetrable will? a stiffness? Whatever it is, it makes me very uncomfortable.

I don't like her. I don't trust her. I don't feel any approachable womanliness in her. She's not a person with whom I can, on any level, share or communicate.

Her bearing says "keep away." It's as if she's one of those wonderfully tended green lawns in the center of the city park. And there's a keep off the grass sign.

Sarah Palin, whose ideas scare me, is preferable. Though I would hate (yes, "hate") to see Sarah as President of the United States, she has a feminine beauty, warmth, humor, inner joy -- and even with all her convictions that to me are wrong, prejudiced, limiting --- she's a much more acceptable candidate. Despite Palin's "sell" -- the often repulsive (to me, repulsive) ways she has promoted herself, I find Sarah Palin beautiful and real.

Bachmann is not.

I don't like the look of her. Yes, it's ridiculous, to base my attitude toward a viable candidate, based on her looks, not her politics.

What Bachman stands for -- her connection to Republicans, her opposition to things I feel are essential to America, I can't begin to discuss.

When I see Rick Perry, hear his tone, feel his energy, I respond to the man. Like him? Yes, I like him -- he states who he is and expresses what he feels. Though the thought of him as president makes me shudder --I think he'd be a nightmare for our country -- I can still listen and look and at him and explain why I totally disagree with him.

I've written this post to explain why I simply cannot think about Michele Bachmann. Newsweek called her the "Queen of Rage." In my opinion, she's not a queen of anything, except, perhaps, blind ambition.