Monday, June 1, 2009

A YEAR, A MINUTE

Child's Time ... Never will I forget the feeling ... slow slow ... how long it took Mom to get things on the table for breakfast, how hard it was to chew and get it down ("Chew, don't gulp it down," said Mom), when outdoors was beckoning, next door neighbor's kids were hooting and calling.

Cruel it was, to fold my napkin, roll it, and fit it back into its napkin ring, and ("Finish your milk," said Mom) -- take that one last gulp of milk, and then, only then, there was a whole huge day.

Hop Scotch, Hide and Seek, skinning my knee, getting Mercurochrome and a bandage, Giant Steps game, lunch, nap on the sun porch where my sister's potato plant vines grow visibly longer as I close my eyes, wondering when I'd be old enough to stay up all day till bedtime?

Grown up Time ... ten, fifteen years later? Never enough time. Off to class at 10 A.M. learning Hindu gestures, dashing to 1 o'clock intermediate ballet, rush-rush shower, five minutes to eat and head for the launderette, hurry home, time for bed.

Lover Time ... Waiting for the mailman ... Waiting for the phone to ring ... Listening for footsteps on the stairs ...

Curtain Time ... arriving always at least 3 hours early; makeup; change clothes, warm up barre; costume, waiting in wings, stretch, leg lifts, little jumps ...

Dancer Time ... thirty-one, two, four... am I'm over the hill ... thirty-five, seven, nine, is it too late, it's too late to be major, important, famous ...

Hospital Time ... 3 hrs till the next pill; making conversation with nurses, counting chimpanzees, watching the big clock on the wall -- its minute hand circling, little hand inching, big hand not moving at all.

Writer Time ... month, half year, year, plotting plot, re-plotting, re-revising waiting for agent, editor response, planning when to e-mail, how to remind them, what to say about a new project ...

Internet Time ... a river it is, sometimes a pond, with flotsam and jetsam to jump into, or leap over ...

Today, waking, planning what to accomplish today, I thought -- ought to do more, work faster, it's already summer and next month ... My goodness. it'll be Christmas in a minute!

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