CANDY JAR ON MY DESK

Periodically, I ask myself, What am I doing eight hours a day? Where am I heading?

I don't do a lot of house-cleaning (I let the dust accumulate, and do the moping, waxing, tidying only when I'm on the mood, or it's absolutely necessary). But my home is a home, and a thousand things catch my eye every day. and become a "mmm" thought, and part of a plan.

Being self-employed and therefore the boss (having been the boss most of my life) I've evolved Em's way of doing things.

I make every day a work day, and it's more or less planned -- details pre-arranged, the "deck" cleared, with my mood, my inner self geared and ready to do what I've planned to do.

I make my own schedule. But I'm free to indulge in whatever hits me -- more sleep, a second breakfast, or some spur of the moment meandering in the outside world. Mostly I stick to "Turn on the computer" -- look at my list (got a list on my desk), and proceed with what's next.

For six months I've been doing a blog. (Google says: "Blog is a web log, chronicle or diary where you share your thoughts with others.")

I write one every day. Sometimes worriedly, sometimes mischievously, sometimes very quickly, usually five or six hours are involved, sometimes more.

Yes, it's self-expression. but crafted --revised, re-written. re-conceived sometimes as if the daily post is part of a book. (Every word in a book has to studied, verified, and shaped to relate to what's already written.)

At first, when Fran, my Website designer, suggested that I write a blog, I read a few blogs and thought, "No way --bloggers are would-be writers, just putting down stuff off the top of their heads."

But now that I'm getting the hang of it, even though sometimes I feel like I'm in a river of amateur swimmers, splashing around -- I'm having fun. Blogging has become my job. Though I wonder if I can keep this up (a blog a day) for another six months or a year? Two years? Won't I run out of ideas ?

Fran, who's become my blog coach, sends me links to interesting, current doings -- fascinating, sometimes funny, often scary tidbits in the news, big deal (and little deal) events I might want to write about ... "Like a columnist --Em, you are a columnist!" Fran said.

Mmm. Columnist sounds better, feels better than" blogger." (It's like putting on a new sneaker, new ballet slipper.)

So what to write about, with Fran's help, along with my own daily doings is like an candy jar, chock full of gum balls, pretty colored jaw breakers. It's a magic jar that keeps refilling itself.