OPTIMUM ANNOYANCE

Some ads I can tolerate, others get me turning off the volume, and sort of watching. This one is maximum intolerable.

Click it on-- click this commercial off fast.

Aside from the fact that it's repeated often on all the major channels, it has appeared in variations that are similarly offensive. In my mind, I keep composing a letter to OPTIMUM ON LINE, and stating "I will never buy your product; I will talk down your product, until you stop advertising with actresses flaunting themselves, singing, dancing, selling themselves in this way."

Their bump-and grinding is repulsive. Not sexy. The designer of this ad, the composer of the song, the creator of the concept is grotesquely childlike -- it's an adolescent male's vision that belongs to the forties or fifties.

Gee, now that I'm saying it ... "action speaks louder than words" ... could I, should I get in touch with the company? Why don't I dial the advertised 800 number, and talk to someone?

(Oh sure, yeah -- it's easy -- just pick up the phone. The friendly operators who answer are trained to handle complaints and find solutions to customers' requests, and politely, with well-rehearsed circumlocution, AVOID anything that might harm the company.)

But IF I collect signatures from others who hate this commercial, it might affect someone -- IF my letter containing the signatures gets shown to a supervisor.

Supervisors scare me. Their words erect an impenetrable wall, as they chant like robots what the vice-presidents order them to chant, if they're hoping to be vice-presidents some day.

Perhaps soon, with the change of season, there will be another version. (There was a pre-spring OPTIMUM commercial with girls dressed like mermaids, flipping their tails, in an iggy sexy way, brainlessly, repulsively applauding what the macho dancer guys were promoting.)

Hey, girls could be dressed as Thanksgiving turkeys, legs and wings tied, greased and shiny with spices ... or in Mrs. Santa outfits, offering themselves as presents, red and green wrapped
comfort and joy,"
or ...
New Year's, the ball dropping, 2010 satin ribbons around Optimumly endowed adorable babes. Gee, wowy, these are great ideas ... maybe the corporate heads will read this, love it, and offer me a job. And click --I can click myself off!!