Monday, November 16, 2009


I've got nothing to say except, that I've got too much to say, and I can't find a clear sentence that sums up what I'm feeling about Ft. Hood.

When something like this happens, it's seized upon. Every media outlet tells us a shocking little something, and in bits in pieces what has happened is fleshed out.

The questions on the news commentator's mind -- the questions the police are asking about who did it, and why -- everyone's questions about the shooting are repeated -- how many dead, how many injured, how many are critical -- and each person who tells us what he knows becomes a familiar face.

Okay, so how was this tragedy fed to me?

November 5, around 2 p.m. I heard that 12 were dead, 31 injured. I was shocked. "12 dead, 31 injured was on every news channel, headlined, repeated throughout the rest of the day and evening.

November 6, it was 13 dead, 30 injured; and strong grownup looking men said let's talk about compassion first, ask questions later.

I nodded. That fit my feelings.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD was introduced as a factor. Every time I hear or see a bunch of initials, an acronym, I have to translate it. I'm figuring it out while the next sentence is said, and I miss half of it. Acronyms waste my brain time.

After Obama's comments on November 6th, there were broadcasts, quite a few, criticizing him, saying he was "insufficiently involved." That pissed me off! We elected a brilliant man in his prime, and waste brain time, mine and yours, digging in, analyzing anything he says, avoiding the point. Obama felt bad. And sad. He wanted to comfort us and the people at Fort Hood.

November 7th, and 8th, the weekend, the news broadcasts rehashed what had been said, and re-ran the news flashes of the 5th and 6th. The fact that the weekend was more or less silent -- no new news -- actually, it was a relief. It made me smile inwardly -- that the news feeders take the weekend off makes them humans, not just part of a selling machine.

November 9th. Headlines:."Two More Shooters." "Perpetrator Not Dead."
We heard about that ten times in ten minutes.

Nov 9, Liebermann said he wanted an investigation of "self-radicalized, home-grown terrorists." I think Lieberman is big waste of my brain time. (See my Nov. 5 post "What's Wrong with Lieberman?")

The New York Times disagreed. It reported that investigators had tentatively concluded this was not part of an extremist plot.

Goody goody, I thought (feeling myself getting tired of thinking about what happened in Fort Hood.)

November 10th -- pictures of Hassan were everywhere.

On the 10th, Flags were at half mast in DC.

On the 10th, there were revelations about Hassan being a devout Muslin -- revelations about his motivation -- he was about to be shipped out, deployed to Iraq -- he didn't want to go -- he'd been writing, phoning, trying desperately to stop his being sent there.

Big news flash on the 10th -- his brothers had held the funeral for their deceased Mother at the Virginia Mosque were two of the 2001 terrorists had attended sermons by a radical preacher. (The second, or third time I heard the flash, I realized this happened in 2001.)

Later, I heard a few mentions of the fact that the DC sniper had been executed at 9:11 p.m.

Oh boy! That took me back to the weeks, how many weeks we were frightened about that sniper and his teenage accomplice ... How long did it take till we recovered?

Have we recovered? Doesn't a fearful thought cross your mind when a car passes your car, aggressively, and you catch a glimpse of a killer posture, killer face on the guy in the driver's seat?

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time ..." Why does my mind jump to that quote from "Macbeth" -- jumps, skips to "...It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

The words, just the words about the words I've been hearing are weighing me down -- not because of Fort Hood, but because I know I'm going to be bombarded tomorrow and tomorrow with words-words-words about Hassan, and how American Muslims feel and more fear is heavy, heavy on me, hearing more about Hassan's anti-American ravings.

I wonder if we were THIS captured, this infected, this overwhelmed by too many opinions a couple of years ago? Didn't this start with the pre-presidential campaign debates -- the lineups, all those potential candidates way, way back in... when ... 2007 ... 2006 ...?

This rambling is me, with my head shaking, my private, personal moan, about what we've done -- what the media, senators, and congressmen are doing to Obama -- those who love him as well as those who hate him. Each thing he's tried to do -- managed to do, push in, shove in, get going on some level, has been weighed down with words-words-words that serve no purpose, but to get our attention on the speaker, the channel -- buy it – be one of the media's "FOR IT," "AGAINST IT," 'DON'T CARE" statistics," in a terrifically organized percentage figure that means nothing.

Oh woe, I fear that our health care bill won't get through the senate if each inch of it, every word is re-examined by everyone who's got an election coming up, as well as brilliant, thoughtful senators and all those eager "authority" pals of the commentators. plus other celebrities, who add their words, their passionate opinions ... whooeee!

Will women lose abortion coverage? Will we get a bill with no public option? I care about both items, but I think we need a health care bill now, before the Christmas break -- we need to have a health care bill passed, and then, if we lose either item, or both --THINGS CAN BE FIXED.

We have the Fort Hood killer. The dead can't be brought back to life. The hammering away on it doesn't accomplish anything except perhaps encourage deep concerns in our Muslim citizens -- fear that they'll be treated like Japanese Americans were, when they were interned by Roosevelt's executive order # 9066.

Worry beads don't stop the thing you're worrying about from happening. I haven't heard words about 'What can we do to make Muslims versus Christians not a war, or what we can do to get health care passed. Or what can we do to end the two wars we're already fighting and prevent wars in Iran, North Korea, and Paskistan.

Except "Write your congressman" which is like saying "drop a postcard in the corner mailbox" which is so crammed by 4:00 p.m. that I can't get a letter in, but I guess I could e-mail ... who?

Yep! This is a mess in my head. Overload.

I'm just one person, part of the family who elected Obama to change things, a lot of heavy duty major things that have been wrong for a long time.

Obama IS trying to change things -- let him do it. That's why we elected him. Let's go with him to the next step.

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