Saturday, March 26, 2011


You see a face, or meet someone for the first time -- if the person seems interested in what you say and listens, or responds in some way -- you begin to "like" the person and go further in a conversational exchange.

But if he/she is poorly, or wrongly dressed? If you notice crumbs on the person's lapel, or maybe a faint odor? Even too much perfume makes you uneasy -- not suspicious, but you are NOT comfortable. Do you become their friend?

There is a firm of lawyers that advertises quite frequently on television. While a recorded voice assures you that the firm is the best and their clients win millions, we see the lawyers -- a pleasant middle-aged lady, a fatherly man, then, a grinning guy, who looks up from his desk with a knowing, off-puttingly bemused smile. Each time I think "HE'S A CROOK!" Would I become a client? No!

I picked out these faces for a Who Can You Trust test.

What do you think of when you see this lady? Is she offering friendship? Is she saying, "Phone me and I'll be your friend?" It's a nice face but her am I not desirable pose -- hmm. Unless that's what you 're looking for, you don't stay focused on her.

But what about her, with her hands on her hips laughing? Chelsea Handler is her name. She's an up-and-coming star with a show -- she teases her guests, and sometimes makes outrageous, almost-but-not-quite crude remarks, but her smile, the tilt of her head is ... pleasantly saucy. We like her. That's undoubtedly why she's an up-and-comer, who is being touted in Newsweek Magazine.

I found these three faces in an advertisement for an online school.

Do you trust this guy? He's a teacher. He looks intelligent, but there's something in his demeanor that suggests that he's bored, or he feels superior. Maybe he doesn't really like his work? Why do I feel he's doing this work temporarily?

There's something about him that suggests, to me, that he is very restless.

What about this young lady teacher?
Her posture implies that she's not sure of herself -- is she pretending to know things that she doesn't really know? And her confident expression -- is it somehow slightly fake? Why do I think she's prissy? Her hands? It's as if she's nervously hiding behind them,

What about this lady on the right? I happened to notice that she's a "psychological counselor." Immediately, I'm wondering why she can't get her weight under control? If she's a good counselor -- there to help students and advise them about what courses they ought to take ... well ... why can't she help and advise herself to do something about her weight?

I think you knows lots of things almost immediately when you meet someone, or see their picture.

Okay, don't judge a book by its cover -- but pay attention to what you're thinking -- don't ignore the intuitions that flicker across your mind. They can help you connect with someone who can really be a help to you. They can help you NOT attach yourself to a new friend, counselor, employee, doctor, lawyer, accountant, or housekeeper -- a person who is sending you a message that he/she and you aren't going to really get along very well.

Trust yourself. Listen to the advice you give yourself.
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