DOUBLE THINK

A Facebook friend,"N," sent me a message about "S" -- should she accept him as a friend?

I immediately thought "Sure!" I wondered why N. was so curiously careful about who were her friends?

I wrote her, and said "Sure" and explained why I enjoyed messaging back and forth with S.

Her dilemma has been cooking, stewing in my mind.

There's a full page advertisement in Time Magazine -- no worse than the daily dose of Viagra and Cialis ads -- about a touch, tender glance, and the fact that you guys need to be ready, capable of doing it.

Or the ads that promote that face lift with chicken-wire that sits in my head next to pills, creams, treatments that I might need -- don't need, will need -- because every day without them I am decaying.

Yes, I hate ads. But some of this stuff is viral. It makes you feel old, less effective, vulnerable. The offensive ad in Time -- a flower with droopy leaves -- a new lubricant for post menopausal women, who are experiencing painful intercourse -- I was jarred by it, tut-tutting, bothered, probably as my mother, and her mother were bothered by brassiere, corsets, and panty ads.

C'mon, shut up, you jerk -- you're making a big deal over nothing!" I told myself.

I know that sex, menopause, lubricants, contraception devices are out-in-the-open, palpable, current topics these days! But I am offended. Is nothing private anymore -- between you and yourself? (And maybe your doctor, if you trust your doctor.)

N.'s reluctance to take on a friend on Facebook without checking into who this "S" guy is, seemed unnecessarily old-fashioned. I mean -- why bother? -- your FB friends are not coming over for tea. You'll probably never meet them.

Hmm. N is being careful about what she allows in her life -- what she'll listen to, and pay attention to. Suddenly, like a full moon appearing out of nowhere, I'm seeing an important point.

Beware of what you take into your life. What ad, what sing-song, what religion, what designer, what fad, what words. -- they become a part of you. And whatever is a part of you will affect your loved ones, your kids, your companion, and your real friends whose words -- whether you like them or not -- sit in your head.

A lot of junk -- violence, hatred, bad manners, stupid fashions, fads, trends, fears -- and politics -- are already in that crowded, jam-packed space. We're got to stop watching dumb, brain-washing stuff!

You can't?

Then, start turning off that damn TV whenever you see something offensive. Give it a try. You'll have more time/space/passion for what's important to you.