Friday, April 27, 2012

BEST SELLER DREAMS

Who is E.L. James? Why are readers gobbling Erika Leonard James' books?

I don't know.

Hey, I need to know ... got to look into this.

Why? Because I have six e-book novels that I'm hoping people will buy and read. I have to examine their "gobble" potential.

According to a lot of reviewers, E.L.'s books are erotic, hot, pornographic. "Her words are reducing the women of America to quivering masses of desire."

Time said, "Sex after marriage, the old saying goes, has three phases: kitchen, bedroom and hallway. Kitchen sex is the spontaneous type spouses have when they first get together. Bedroom sex is the more routine lovemaking that sets in after a few years. And hallway sex is when husband and wife pass each other in the hallway and say, 'Screw you.'"

E.L. James -- BOOM -- she's famous, making money, suddenly a name in the news. If she had best seller-be-rich-and-famous-dreams, they are coming true.

Until recently, E.L. was posting her stories online for free. Her trilogy "Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker. Fifty Shades Freed" is going to be published by Random House. A seven figure deal has been made with Universal pictures for the movie rights to the trilogy.

How did this happen? Well ... she was working un-glamorously in TV production, organizing contracts and clearances.

The 48-year-old E.L., apparently happily married, mother of two teenage boys, found time to read the 700 romance novels that are stored in her attic. She says she's shy and prudish. She giggles, acts horrified, when asked to read aloud from one of the steamier passages in her book. She's told interviewers that she's unnerved when "People tell me the most intimate things. One woman told me she got an orgasm just from reading the book. Another recommend my book, saying, 'be sure to wear a panty liner.'"

Hmm.

Critics, in various ways, say E.L. James is not a very good writer. I read the opening chapters of the first two books of her trilogy, looking for steamy sex passages. (Didn't find them; the free download says that those pages are eliminated.)

What I read was mostly dialogue, not grabby, a bit boring, not inventive or real or ... well ... not very interesting. The characters are ... well ... paper-doll cut outs. They've got the basic attributes -- looks, charm. Passion is ... um ... described, implied ...

Have you ever read stage directions in a play? Passion is written in E.L's book like stage directions --"He sits.: "She stands." "She looks into his eyes." "He looks into her eyes."

I found it boring, but read on, and on, waiting for, hoping to read some panty liner sex. Even though there were additional free samples, more chapters of "Shades of Gray" that I could peruse, I didn't.

It just wasn't very interesting. Flat writing can be interesting, but this was childish, stiff, flat -- like a flat line on a heart monitor.

That pleased me, cheered me. Maybe it stifled the surge of jealousy, muted the suddenly-successful-big name E.L James BOOM.

Reality: My novels are not erotic. There's sex in all of them like spice -- enough to evoke a reader's interest -- not panty liner participation. I write from the spirit, soul, child dream that sent me into dancing. And I could really-really dance and express what I feel. And yes, I know that my words when I write truly express what I'm feeling.

It's a need to communicate. E.L. James is writing and playing out, as she writes, a fantasy that excites her sexually. I don't think that's the same thing.

So I've probably inspired you to visit Amazon. Peek at E.L. Peek at any of my novels. If you want a sex experience from reading a novel, have fun with E.L. James. If you want a trip into someone else's life. Try an Em book.
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Click -- if you want to read a little of the trilogy right now.
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