Wednesday, October 27, 2010

FAN LETTER

Dear Mr. Glenn Beck,

One of my favorite holidays is almost upon us -- it's a perfect time to send you holiday greetings in a fan letter.

When I sent you a fan letter last month, some of my friends were surprised. They wondered why Em, a strong supporter of our current White House, would be writing a "Fan" letter to you. A "Fan" to me, is someone (like me) who observes closely, is fascinated, by the growth, the deepening ideas, and ideals of a celebrity -- the development of a firebrand politician such as you.

Your concern with the future of America is stronger than ever. You scheduled a "Restore America's Honor" rally at the Lincoln Memorial on a date that was precisely 47 years after Dr. Martin Luther King made his "I Have a Dream" speech there. What a bold, profoundly significant concept that was, Mr. Beck -- gathering your followers to stand together where a great Black American stood and spoke for his people -- and there you were, "restoring America back to what America was."

Benefactor, leader, potential president -- that's what most of your fans think, as you are preaching, teaching, sharing truths that some people, perhaps, don't find solidly, reliably, impeccably truthful. But because they are YOUR truths, your ideas stand tall -- tall as giant Sequoias in Yosemite Park -- tall and surrounding you and your devoted followers, who probably can't see the forest, for the trees.

(To me the forest's so chock-full of trees that there may not seem to be a world out there and beyond, but there is -- I live out there.)

Anyway, there's more than enough space for you and your followers, Mr. Beck -- conservative Americans and Mormons, who believe in what the Latter Day Saints (Mormons), call the "White Horse Prophecy."

You don't seem quite as Mormon-ish as Mitt Romney, but I'm sure you know all about that prophecy -- you've been a Mormon for ten years.

Though the White House is pursuing and fighting for what the country needs -- what's absolutely important to me, and constitutional -- on your Fox News TV show, you recently told your audience "We are at the place where the Constitution hangs in the balance."

My goodness, that's what was said in 1840 by the founder of the Mormon church. He said, "When the Constitution hangs by a thread, elders of the Mormon Church will step in -- on the proverbial white horse -- to save the country."

And when Brigham Young became the leader of the Mormons, he proclaimed, "When the Constitution of the United States hangs, as it were, upon a single thread, they will have to call for the 'Mormon' Elders to save it from utter destruction; and they will step forth and do it."

Those are scary words.

Also, after Obama was elected, during an interview with Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah, a Mormon, you said: "I heard Barack Obama talk about the Constitution and I thought, we are at the point or we are very near the point where our Constitution is hanging by a thread."

Maybe because Halloween weekend is approaching, and there's black and white spiders and skeltons hanging everywhere -- your "Constitution hanging by a thread" stuff sounds downright spooky.

Hey, are you revving up a ... what?

A rebellion?

A civil war, led by Mormons and your other followers who see themselves as defenders of the constitution?

Well, Happy Halloween to you and your devotees Mr. Glenn Beck!

I think I'll carve my pumpkin into a Glenn B. trophy -- half-moon, toothy, Beck smile. -- triangle Beck eyes lit up by a flame-proofed candle inside -- sit my pumpkin on my 4th floor window so he can look down and around at New York City -- the wild noisy parade this weekend, all those "sinful" gays, and irreligious folk naively celebrating.

Oh yes, indeed, I'm fascinated by the deepening, expanding, swelling ideas of Glenn B., celebrity, presidential hopeful. But Em the Fan happens to be a staunch supporter of the White House no matter what season it is.

Off with my costume. My Jack-O'-Lantern is a joke. 'I'm profoundly repelled by your ideas and ambitions, Mr. Glenn Beck.

Sincerely yours,
EM of Em's Talkery

4 comments:

Linda Phillips said...

As am I!!!!! Good one Em!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely right on, beautifully and cleverly written, wish I could share this on my FB Wall.
xxxooo H.

bodacia said...

This is awesome, Emily! Did you actually send it to GB? I wonder if he would "get" it...

vicki s said...

How wonderful to read something that really makes it clear. I couldn't agree with you more. Well said.

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