Friday, December 10, 2010


Be an actor. "Play" self confidence. It's in your entrance -- the size of your stride. The stride needs to be compatible with your height.

Take in the room boldly.

Sit down if you're asked to have seat. Glance at the indicated chair, and sit unhurriedly. Relax (not slumping), letting your arms fall across your lap with your hands relaxed. If it's an armchair, use it with tensionless arms and hands.

If you're standing, don't try to relax by hugging yourself, or tilting your head. Stand tall, You can lightly clasp your hands, not tightly or with prayerful palms. If you have pockets, put a hand in a pocket, or use both pockets. One pocket however, gives you a better, more confident look.

(I do not recommend standing tall, with your arms hanging at your sides. Even if you are an actor in a play, and your director directs you to let your arms hang, it is very difficult to do.)

"Psychology Science Magazine," in a recent article titled "Feeling Timid and Powerless," said, "In the animal kingdom, the alphas often convey their dominant status through posture. They rise to their full height, stick out their chests and in a bird's case, for instance, fan their tail feathers, all to take up as much space as possible and establish their powerful presence. The weaker omegas, on the other hand, bow down low, tucking in their limbs and tails and signaling their submission."

(Take a look at yourself -- are you reading this crunched down, with your limbs and tail signaling relaxation, or submission?)

In the current issue, Dr. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist who coauthored the study "Power Posing," said, "Power positions -- like putting your palms down on a table while standing, reclining in a chair with your hands behind your head and your feet on the table -- won't make you the next Donald Trump. But a power position can foster a frisson of fortitude in which the poser experiences a spike in testosterone and lower levels of cortisol, creating an optimal hormonal balance that leads to a sense of more power and a desire to take risks."

Readers, cortisol is your stress hormone; no matter what gender you are, your testosterone can spike. Try it, and see for yourself.

As I'm typing this, I have a pencil in my teeth -- I read in the magazine, that with a pencil in your teeth, (it forces your face muscles into a smile), you will feel happier. I do feel happier.

Send me a message with a pencil in your teeth, and check it out. Then, smiling, tuck the pencil behind your ear, and practice the power positions.


Linda Phillips said...

Pencil in teeth as I type..LOL

I have to admit that I always gave the best interviews. I guess it was my training as a kid actor. I was always told that I was "Brimming with confidence"! In fact one real stupid employment agent sort of criticized me for being so overly confident...stupid...didn't she want to place me fa' gawd sakes?

I do remember the world's worst interview that I ever gave and it was AWFUL....I was under a lot of stress at the time in my marriage and feeling very out of my power.

It was for a job as a Head of Design in a moderately large architectural firm. I knew I was very stressed and not on my game before I ever began. It was a very weird interview to say the least. The people who I would have been supervising, that would have worked under me...were the people who interviewed me..which in itself is very strange...I knew from the very first moment that I opened my mouth, that I had totally lost control of the interview and it was all down hill from there. No one had to tell me that I didn't get the job. I knew very well I had given THE WORST INTERVIEW OF MY LIFE! I was really and truly embarrassed for myself.

Kevin Daly said...

I've always been surprised at how well I interview - I've never had a bad interview and have gotten the job almost every time (there's only been one time I didn't get the job - but ended up a stand-by/substitute for the person who did).

The trouble for me NOW is trying to get seen for an interview in the first place...

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