Saturday, March 12, 2011

FASHION

When I was very young, around five, I proudly spouted the longest word in the dictionary, "antidisestablishmentarism."

I didn't know what it meant but growing up, I've become NOT anti -- I'm the opposite -- a disestablishmentarian. I can't, won't, join any establishment, tradition, codification of anything, that others have defined in theater, and definitely in fashion.

The fact is, fashion previews are over -- the latest stuff for the fall of 2011 was ballyhooed a couple of weeks ago. Most of the designers have had their say in New York, London, Paris, and Milan, and though there are still some comments and echoes from Miuccia Prada, Gucci, and the swan-songing Yves St Laurent, I'm ready to announce what I think about all this right now!

Actually, I met Prada at a chic party in the nineties. I was neck-to-calf encased in a black wool, turtle-neck tube dress when Prada kissed me and said I was more chic, more beautiful than anyone else at the party. I didn't' know who she was but as I was leaving the host gave me her phone number, "Prada wants to dress you."

I didn't call. I'm too busy. I don't usually bother with what to wear though, sometimes, when I can't sleep, I watch re-runs of the Fashion Police, enjoying Joan Rivers' outrageousness, ho-humming and bemused by the other girly-boyish hosts, with their passionately silly comments.

Fashion runways, like "red carpet" scenes on award shows, are tiresome. Actually, except for the skinny sulky young girls swishing down pathway, I'm not interested in runways, though one new business idea that's emerged from the recent fashion week, does, in fact, make sense. This year shoppers voted for their favorites, and the top five outfits will be produced. (IF you believe it will be done honestly. I don't.) But theoretically, getting a vote --"crowd sourcing" a dress -- implies that the fashion industry actually cares what women think.

These four dresses were chosen.

Boring, Boring, Boring. Boring.
Nothing in these outfits surprises, delights me, or wakes me up. Most especially, I don't like the shoes, and the cleavage revelations and skirt lengths are just a re-run of what bored me before.

What's the matter with me?

Nothing. I think a woman should wear what she feels like wearing, in terms of color, shock value, being different or blending in, and that what was worn 70 years ago is much more stimulating than current styles. Old cultures are fascinating. Old-fashioned designers are inspiring in the same way that famous painters, down through the ages are inspiring.

I'm saying, go wherever you want to go in your mind -- wear wings, or silver, steel, mesh, leather, plastic, or paper armor.

Gossamer is good.

Don't wear what's in fashion. Make your own.
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