Monday, December 19, 2011


Hmm ... You and your partner would like to make a baby but you can't make one?

Baby -- eyes, velvet-like perfect skin, sweet delicate kissable lips, wiggling limbs, tiny toes -- petal ears and grabbing needing-me-teeny tiny fingers -- breathtaking beauty ...

You can't make it without sperm.

Sperm donors ... Who are they? What do they earn? Why do men to it? To ejaculate -- the need to? Or is there something that I don't understand about ejaculating -- the joy -- enjoying the wetness, the mess? Or is there a profound joy in the seed of one's own seed?

I looked up Artificial Insemination. It can cost $2000 - $10,000, depending upon how and where you find a donor. And donors make contractual demands that may not fit with what a gay couple or a childless straight couple wants, sometimes absolutely desperately needs.

Nowadays, you can find 'donorsexual' on the web— a service for free.

Newsweek reporter, Tony Dokoupil, describes a married female couple's adventure, sorting through ads, forums, websites, picking out a right man who is giving his sperm away altruistically -- meetings with the man, learning about his health, negotiating parental rights, and his attitude toward revealing his identity to his future offspring, and finally arranging the donation.

Insemination requires a meeting, a method of injecting fresh sperm into the woman's vagina. If sexual intercourse with a stranger is out, it can be done in different ways -- at a hotel, in your car, or (as the married female couple arranged) in the restroom at Starbucks. The donor ejaculates into a cup, you, the female, take the cup and attaches it to your cervix. It's not a pretty picture, but sperm dance and can enter you.

It didn't work for the female couple, so they are trying again.

Dokoupil writes about the new Free Sperm Donor Registry (FSDR) that's set up like a dating service, with female recipients and male donors. FSDR has about 2,000 members, 400 donors, and already claims a dozen pregnancies.

Should we cheer? -- doctors have been moving procreation into the lab, and creating families for straight, gay, single, and married partners. There are fee based websites in the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia, jobs -- a sexually talented man can make (possibly) $12,000 from working twice-weekly.

There are serious concerns, diseases, weirdoes, falsified records, even the possibility that a busy donor might be creating potential incest

For some people I'm sure its sexy, exciting. For others it solves career concerns, and focuses their next 16 year -- baby growing up is a 16-year commitment.

With a baby you shape and control and re-define yourself. Yes, you can do all that without a baby but gee -- live -- why not let life happen?

I wrote about pets recently, and people wrote back about their pets, how their love surrounds you with unconditional love. Baby is much more than that. You create with the baby what baby needs -- a condition of love -- a fire burning forever, a perpetual flame. No fences, laws, rules, hand-me-down words tell you what this means. It's a deep, noiseless, indefinable, silent, inner feeling that never stops growing.

Can you name any one, single, solitary thing in your life like that? I can't.


Sounds like sperm donor is something to consider.


Carola said...

It seems to me it should be regulated in some way. The idea of doing it in a Starbucks restroom with someone you found on the Web seems wrong to me.

Anonymous said...

I have already had 2 beautiful babies that are grown up now and flew the nest. Very interesting and informing blog Em. Sperm donation is a growing enterprise but not for me as I am older now and have a little dog to care for. Babies are special and I thank God I was able to have a boy and a girl....kam

Robby Benson said...

Far too cynical for me. Father of 2 and I'll do anything for my children; from an evolutionary p.o.v., they are smarter and better equipped to handle the world than their dad - me. What more can I hope for...? Their health, receive and absorb true, pure love and be as happy as my wife and I have been for the last 30 years of our adventure. So, should the government stop non-traditional sperm donations? Aside from my pockets, I hope they stay out of our pants. I trust people...... to d the right thing!