CHASTITY-TO-CHAZ BONO

He's made a full-time, lifetime job of being a man.

"Poor Cher," I thought as I absorbed what her son, her erstwhile daughter, said in the interview that you can see below.

Chaz is 42, an actor, writer, and activist. Chastity was his name. Back in the days when Sonny and Cher had daughter "Chastity" appear with them in their television show, I cringed.

It's Mother's instinct -- my husband and I are in showbiz. I cringed because I disapprove of involving your child in your career, whatever it is. A career in showbiz means a lifetime of re-making yourself. No matter how successful you are, you will be job-hunting, selling yourself all your life.

Name any star -- Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton, Woody Allen, or Hackman, Caine, Cosby, Parton ... (Suddenly, I'm remembering Charles During, a very dear actor-friend of ours -- I wonder how he's doing?) The older any name actor gets, the more time must be spent maintaining name status, unless -- like Gene Hackman -- the actor quits.

Chaz Bono is concentrating on being a man, putting all his time, energy and creativity into "Manhood." Physically, it's a long haul to go from being a little girl, then a lesbian in love with a girl, to being a male. It involves Chaz, currently, with testosterone injections and being surgically "fixed."

Chaz mentions his breasts and his "male" nipples. He mentions the surgical removal of his female beasts, but the status of his vagina or penis wasn't mentioned. (Yes, I can probably Google, and find out if the P or the V has been remade, removed, re-done, but it's not what concerns me about Chaz.)

I think about our son who is slightly older than Chaz, and the complex things that are involved in being a man -- "Man of the family" -- "Manhood."

I think of a man as a tree -- strong, sturdy, and there -- trunk, roots. branches always there unless lighting strikes, or other forces of nature knock the tree down.

My husband is a tree. It's the sturdy, heroic something about him, and his stance -- the shelter he provides for those who are in his domain -- on his land, in his zone, area, world, or whatever you deem it.

I'm not certain, but I'm sensing that right now Chaz is mostly thinking about "Manhood " as "Sexhood" -- the neighborhood of what arouses him, attracts him, inspires him sexually.

How does a man, a young man, a boy learn about manhood? Mostly from the men in his life, or from movies, comic books, and literature -- he perceives the way a man behaves and imitates it.

The men in his life, and his mother's life, came and went and probably weren't there for him.

I can only apply Em-logic, Em-theory, which is my belief that actions speak louder than words. , "Action" can be in the mind and quietly active -- mostly taking in what a man does, and doing stuff in a man-like way.

Yes, I am back to the tree growing -- protective, reaching out with arms that are branches with leaves, twigs -- old leaves or budding new ones -- but always, always rooted on the land on where you, the tree, continue to grow.

Hey ho, that' s my thought for you, Chaz Bono. I realize you are in a transition right now. Clearly you are honest, and articulate, and all your energy is focused on handling the transition. I just want to remind you that being a man is not the surgery, the changing your physical equipment, or fulfilling your sexual needs.

Chaz, the man --a good man -- needs to reach out and embrace and protect, and be a tree for those whom he loves.

NEON UNDIES

This bra is NEON.

Huh?

It has neon meshed in the fabric.



These panties light up.
They illuminate you down there.


I didn't I know about neon bras, neon panties -- bikini style or briefs ...


And men's neon jocks,
jock straps, pouches, shorts.


My head isn't in the sand, but gee -- NEON underwear? why?

When the "thong" came in and "thong" was the way to go with underwear, I backed off into the sand. I thought, (and still think), that thongs are inefficient in terms of why you wear underwear. I mean, what is the purpose of underwear? It helps you preserve your outerwear -- washable underwear saves un-washable outerwear.

I happen to know, from my novel-writing-days that "NEON," more or less, was invented at the end of the 19th century. By 1901 it was used in signs. It became popular during the next decade. Soon, everywhere, there were flashing signs -- mostly red -- gas in tubes which spelled out "Beer," or "Liquor," or "Food," that developed into multi-colored NEON signs. No doubt about it -- NEON signs brought in the customers.

So, is NEON underwear a way of advertising you? Saying "I've got what you want?"

How much does a neon bra cost? .

This NEON yellow one is a "Proenza Schouler," which is a pricey super exclusive label, It costs $395..

The Pink undies above were in "Queen," a pricey store in London. I didn't bother pricing the men's jocks -- got distracted by a Website chock full of men's sheer NEON undies, front and rear views.

It all seems ... well, not much ado about nothing, but a hell of a lot of to-do about not very important things.

I guess it's like nose rings, body piercings, and tattoos -- a way of showing off your nose, ears, and skin, saying I love myself, I think I'm grand. When a woman wears sexy, lacy, see-though black, seductive underwear, seduction is the purpose, isn't it? So NEON is a brighter, much more cheerful, "out there" way of doing the same thing.

Anyhow, didn't your mom teach you to always, always wear "nice " underwear, in case you got hit by a car or a bus?

Clearly, while my head was in the sand, times have changed. And what were personal, more or less private, private-parts are ... Well, everyone knows more or less what you've got down there, so why not, with a flash of NEON say, "Welcome" to anyone who happens to look, right?

What does all this mean about sex, morality, sleeping around, having fun, experimenting?

Hmm.

PASSIONATE DECADENCE

British Fashion Designer of the Year, Alexander McQueen, hanged himself last year. Everything he created is what women are fighting to grab and wear.

He was gay, 40, married, still friendly but separated from his partner, on and off hooked on drugs and booze for years. A former beloved assistant to Givenchy, Creative Director for the Gucci Group, creator of McQ, a more renegade lower-priced line for men and women, McQueen had boutiques in London, New York, Los Angeles, Milan and Las Vegas, and many celebrity patrons, including Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Lady Gaga.

When you wear a McQueen outfit, you are going to attract a lot of attention because of his name, the unique style, the fabric, the brilliant tailoring.

Looking at his shows, his most recent creations, and earlier creations, I find myself wondering why women love his things. Models take on the aura of their Master and these models look like soldiers on their way to the front to kill the enemy. Yes, I know, the bored, confident steps, swishy hips, sometimes sassy, other times expressionless face is the way the top models present clothes.

How does the typical high-fashion model's demeanor evolve? I'm guessing that a smile, the look of inner-pride, confidence, pleasure is harder to fake. These models are rushing on and off the stage, harried, hurrying into the next and the next outfit. And their feet must be killing them.

The award- winning burst of red leaves or petals on the model's head in the picture is startling, amazing, and to me, that you can't see the girl is rather horrifying. The shoes the solider girls are wearing are horrifying. The McQ shoes Lady Gaga wore for her "Bad Romance" recording -- those "crab claws" -- are seriously horrifying.

Did McQ hate women? I don't think so. The shape of the clothes, the exciting fabric, the vital colors are great. The fact that McQueen's was stressing "short" short dresses suggests that he loved the leggy look of a woman.

But the foot-wear? McQueen shoes are shockingly decadent. You've heard about Chinese women who were crippled by stylishly "bound" feet. I remember the ultra pointy shoe style of the nineties. I know personally that the four-inch heel is hurtful to the foot and one's posture. The five-inch heel, the McQueen seven-inch heel, the crab claws, and his laced-up tall boot styles -- they look like torture chambers for the foot.

Furthermore, the dark leather, the too-fancy McQ shoe-boot on a two-inch-high wedgey makes the leg look shorter, not longer. The shoe disrupts the leggy-look, and the graceful implications of the tailored tight bodices, and short skirts.

That McQueen creates the graceful feminine look and then defeats it might be a characteristic of a defeated, angry, un-confident, bitchy, frustrated male designer who hates women.

Was he a perverse man, who loved beauty but needed to uglify it?

From what I've observed, I sense that McQueen's need to destroy the overall look of the woman/girl/female was a personal, private, intensely self-indulgent need for decadence.

Oscar Wilde gave a curious definition: "Classicism is the subordination of the parts to the whole; decadence is the subordination of the whole to the parts."

Yes, I think McQueen had a personal passionate need to break rules -- he did it throughout his life. Again and again he tested and destroyed traditions. Perhaps the man needed to deface what he loved, and see, no matter what he did, that what he loved was beautiful. And worth loving.