Friday, October 12, 2012


Kama Sutra

Uh oh, the first thing that hits me about this topic is -- how do I  refer to the Big O? 

Zoom! I'm back to when I was writing my  book, "Somebody (Woman of the Century)." I started writing it in 1985, more than 30 years ago. It was the first time I had to use the word, vagina.

Are  you laughing? Today, the word is used often and very easily in tea time  conversation, in books, in various slang/curse forms in plays, poems,  and songs -- in religious sermons, and advertisements.  But back in the  old-fashioned days of the eighties, my first thought was NOT to use the V  word -- maybe use the word "climax," and refer sort of poetically,  metaphorically, to a "transcendental experience."

To me, "transcendental' was a spiritual, non-verbal experience that amazed, that couldn't be defined. Like "fizz" -- how would you describe fizzing?

By the way, as you're reading this, if you are expecting to find out something about my sex life, quit now. Most of this rambling is me revving myself up to say what I want to say about the BIG O.
Yoga "Orgasm" pose

I'm no longer old-fashioned.

I've written six books, each with female heroines, and at least six sex scenes. Sex is such an intrinsic aspect of one's life -- heroines wouldn't be heroines if they didn't have bad dreams and good dreams about romantic things.

I have recently read two rather hot articles about orgasms.  One describes a woman who has a painful, rare condition that causes females to have many, many orgasms -- even one-hundred a day. It's a persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD). 

The woman described in the article was a nurse.  She sat on a bags of frozen peas during one extremely painful, four-day episode of constant climaxing.

Dr. Marcel Waldinger, neuropsychiatrist, authority on PGAD, said, "It's like a toothache in the wrong place, a neurological disorder stemming from the pudendal nerve, the sensory neuron that triggers arousal. Some drugs may diminish the sensation, but at the moment, there is no long-term effective treatment." 

The other hot article reviews a book titled "Vagina," a biography by Naomi Wolf, established, published author of "The Beauty Myth," who was an assistant to Al Gore during his presidential campaign, advising him on how to appeal to women. In her new book's introduction, Wolf said, “It is not only coextensive with the female brain, but also is part of the female soul, a gateway to, and medium of, female self-knowledge and consciousness themselves.”

I think she's saying a woman is, basically, her vagina.

You can Google "orgasm,"  and find the hot articles, and reviews on Wolf's book.  It is now a big best seller.

What fascinates me is that I wanted to write about "orgasms."  I knew I'd get lots people reading this blog-post because of the title. Say "orgasm," say "let's talk about the BIG O," and eyes open, minds grab onto the idea because it is still a forbidden topic.

My old-fashioned fears about writing sex scenes and using the words for the genitalia is not out of date -- it's what lots of other people feel.  Sex specifics are still "dirty" -- sinful, prurient, forbidden, and thrilling, exciting, stimulating -- titillating, in a way that many, many people think is bad, wrong, definitely a no no.

So, Tell the truth out loud, inwardly to yourself.

Why did you read this?

You probably read it because the subject intrigues and titillates you.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


This man is important to me.

I don't really follow "biking" as a sport, but of course, I've seen and heard a lot of this guy.

Lance Armstrong survived impossible odds. Yes, so did I, but, I might have ended up a partial paraplegic in a wheelchair. This man has dealt with killer cancer, more than once. I think that he has allowed us into his life so that we could learn from what he learned, about fighting for his life.

Six weeks ago, Lance Armstrong stopped fighting the United States Anti-doping Agency, known as the USADA. For 13 years, he's been fighting with the USADA, contesting their charges that he took performance enhancing drugs.

The USADA can now conclude that Lance Armstrong cheated -- that he DID take performance enhancing drugs. It means that he can be stripped of all seven of his titles and banned from the sport of cycling for life. He will lose the Bronze Medal he won at the 2000 Olympics. He will also be required to return money he's been winning since 1998.

Back in 1996, Lance, at age 25, was already considered one of the best cyclists in the world. He had aches and pains that he ignored until one of his testicles swelled to three times its normal size. When he finally consulted a doctor, he learned that he had testicular cancer -- it had already metastasized into his lymph nodes, lungs, and brain.

He had two surgeries -- the cancerous testicle was removed, then two cancerous lesions on his brain were removed. While proceeding with four rounds of chemotherapy, he created the Lance Armstrong Foundation that's been raising money to fight cancer and help patients ever since.

Busy fighter Lance went on to win the Tour de France seven times -- every year from 1999 to 2005; He was named Sportsman of the Year by Sports Illustrated in 2002. The Associated Press deemed him "Male Athlete of the Year" from 2002 to 2005. He's won a lot of money. According to the Forbes survey, he's worth about $125 million; he earns about $20 million a year. The foundation has raised almost a half-billion dollars.

So, did Lance Armstrong use dope?

A few weeks ago, in Newsweek, Buzz Bizzinger, a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter and author, said maybe he did, and maybe he didn't -- perhaps the drugs he needed to conquer cancer, and stay alive, did enhance his performing abilities. Armstrong has publicly admitted that he used the banned blood booster EPO, testosterone, corticosteroids, and blood transfusions; he admitted that he used "masking" agents.

All that is what the USADA calls "doping."

According to the New York Times, at least a third of the top 10 finishers (Armstrong is included in this group), have either officially admitted to using performance enhancers or been officially suspected of doping.

So do we now declare Armstrong as yet another fallen sports idol?

This guy has inspired us -- his sheer courage -- his unshakable determination to keep biking, maintain his athleticism, and live. He’s been married twice, has five children, three from sperm he donated earlier; his youngest two were conceived naturally.

So why, after 13 years of fighting the USADA, did he drop his lawsuit against them?

Lance told the Newsweek reporter, “For my own mental health. For my family. For the foundation. And for the sport of cycling. Cycling doesn’t need this. I am more at ease and at peace than I have been in 10 years. I am focused on today and what will happen in the future.”

Golly, I wish I could send him a message and say wow, Mr. Armstrong -- your courage inspires us all.

Armstrong himself said, "I'm just a guy who got through a disease and I don't deserve any credit for that. I was just very lucky."

Wow -- let's hold onto those words. Let’s hold onto this man as a hero who has taught us, shown us how to take what comes and translate happenstance into amazing, wonderful, real life reality.

Monday, October 8, 2012


How many times have you heard about wrinkles -- frown lines, dark circles, what you have to buy, to use, to do in order to look better, younger.-- all those things you must do for hair, lips, legs, hands, feet, fingernails, toes, eyelashes, and cellulite?

Are they lies? Um ... uh ... well ... They're ads -- ads are a presentation of proven facts or possible facts that will convince to you buy the product.

Do they work? Well, If you buttered your wrinkles, you might see improvement. You'd see improvement if you iced them, or covered them with makeup. If your did specific exercises for the area you want to improve they'd look better -- better if you are in a frame of mind to see "better," not worse.

The more you see, the more you study, the more passionately concerned you are -- to maintain, to improve, to fix what looks older than yesterday.

A long (short) time ago, the day before my thirtieth birthday, I bought "Second Debut," a moisturizer that was hugely touted on TV -- green bottle for normal, average skin, pink bottle for dry, mature skin. I bought two pink bottles from Macy's.

Staving off "after thirty " -- doomful words that advertisements, friends, relatives, even doctors murmur – I used Second Debut every morning and evening for -- gee, how long? -- at least a year. A dancer friend, whose dad was a dermatologist, gave me a tube of Retinol 2.5, (stronger than anything you can buy at a drugstore). I tucked it away -- I didn't have any wrinkles but sometimes a frown line appeared on my forehead. .

I still have a squeezed-out tube 2.5 Retinol, and an almost empty bottle of "Second Debut." I still look ... well ... I look um... not head-to-toe young, but my face and general shape is fairly, nicely, more than adequately okay.

Okay, here's the nitty gritty: I ignore compliments or advice from friends. I ignore all "look younger" latest products, and aphorisms. I wear makeup only when I make videos, or attend my husband's showS. I remove it with a few daubs of inexpensive Johnson & Johnson baby oil.

Remember the tooth fairy? One of her sisters resides in my house.

With her help, I pay attention to what I eat. I stay in shape by doing all my chores using my body as much as possible, the way I did when I was thirty -- bending, lifting, reaching, climbing, hurrying, standing tall. The fact is, most of the other doomful things -- dark circles, bags, cellulite, wrinkles, hair loss and other un-prettifying things that come with growing older, have more or less happened to me.

Boo-hoo, YAY! My eyes don't see as sharply as they used to. Therefore, when I see a wrinkle, I race to another mirror, where I chat with the wrinkle fairy.

She comforts me with nice, gently truthful, more than adequately comforting words that always make me feel better.

If you're worrying, fretting, seeing all the things about yourself that are falling apart, close your eyes tight; think back to the days when you believed in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and you can summon the help-you fairy -- it can be a he, she, or a stuffed toy kind of IT -- it's there. it's still in your house, it still lives in your mind. It will make you feel nicely, more than adequately okay.