Friday, December 9, 2011


Good days, bad days -- days when things seem bright colored and hopeful, other days when things are fading, and people that mean something to you are leaving the earth, and things you count on have disappeared..

You would think that by now, having experienced the ups and downs, seen how things change, I would be able to nod and say, "This is normal. This is life. C'mon, Em, you know that every day you live is one day gone from your life."

Why can't I banish the fact that things you love have to die?

Favorite things wear out. Green leaves turn brown, crinkle, fall from the tree to be blown by the wind, or swept into a pile that's burned or buried. The blue gold pretty petal of fire on candle melts the wax, burns out and it's gone. A day begins as the sun rises and ends as the sun goes down.

A dear friend died. I knew she was ill but didn't know she was, dying. Her well-known husband died a few months ago. A few days ago, when her secretary phoned to tell me she'd left the earth, I thought the phone call was about the luncheon tribute for her husband. Now the tribute will be for both of them.

Is that why from my window the world seems to be withering and crumpling -- wars, politics, poverty, corruption -- a sense of gray, and no solutions pervade my thoughts?

Even so, I do find solutions -- my work's going well, our home is clean, comfortable, and running well.

Ho ho -- looking out my window is telling me to look inside my house -- see the colors, enjoy the small doings --what's light, bright, and clean in my office, in all my rooms. Be the woman in Picasso's picture.

My home sweet home reminds me that growing old is something NOT to dwell on. Yes, you have to glance at realty, and see what you see, but you have to move on.

My friend is no longer alive and what I see out my window is gray and dark. But if I turn around, what's outside my window is behind me -- oh yes, I can feel my grief and miss my friend, but inside is the world I made, that I can see and be in.

Ho ho! Now is the time to enjoy NOW.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


Republican candidates hire this guy and eagerly seek his advice. Fox network’s founder, 71-year-old Roger Eugene Ailes, was a media consultant for Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, and Rudy Giuliani.

He brags about promoting his clients the way American Idols have been promoted, the way X factor is currently promoting itself as the latest, super best talent show.

Ailes is currently advising republican candidate Rick Perry.

His tactics for handling the easily impressed, already somewhat brain washed American public, include mixing Tea Party and Republican ideas into snappy sounding slogans, "hot" cliches about debt, big government, leaving taxes alone, the failed Obama, the poor confused Democrats, the importantance of not supporting unemployment insurance, unions, and wasteful spending on pork -- like Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare.

Yes, he has a great list that includes just about everything that I think is desperately important.

I'm appalled that we are daily, hearing Repubs telling us how wonderfully well they'll run the government that Obama isn't capable of running. What we're already hearing are untruths, logic that isn't logical, and the media is busily, happily, constantly helping the Republs sell all this to us.

Is he a Dick Cheney? No, but sort of a Karl Rove. Both of them established themselves and made sure we know who they are. We don't know much about Ailes, though one can research him and read about he's done, and whom he's supported, and what Ailes says he believes in.

I usually want to know more about the person behind the public person, but looking at Ailes, his picture, resume, and bio, I can't find anything to like about him, anything in his history or personal story that makes him more than another self-made man, who's risen in today's world where being a bit of a crook is a plus -- where being even more than a "bit" crooked, is respected, and highly paid.

A can of Drano has a skull and cross bones on the back. It's a deadly poison. It can kill you.

I'm putting a skull and cross bones on Ailes. What he's doing, selling with all his might and mane, can kill more than what the Republicans have been killing.

Killing? Yes. When you stop growth, destroy hope, bury possible solutions, you are killing what millions and millions of Americans need to survive.

You know the name now. Put him with villains and enemies on your personal XXX list. If you don't have one, make an XXX list now with A for Ailes at the top.

Monday, December 5, 2011


He has an indefinable something---intensity, animality, and a focus that reaches you, in the audience, as if he were right there in front of you.

He's gotten awards, rave reviews and star billing. You'd recognize him if you saw him on the street, though it might take a moment to remember his name. I didn't realize Banderas played Tom Hank's lover in "Philadelphia," an Oscar-winning film about a lawyer who was fired when his bosses realized he had AIDS. I was very moved by the tender-loving relationship of the two men. It's an Em Oscar for Banderas, that during those scenes, I didn't think "Oh that's Antonio Banderas." I didn't realize till the credits rolled, that macho Antonio was playing the homosexual lover.

He can play almost any kind of male role -- heroes, villains, and madmen. He's always fascinating, though sometimes, the smoldering sensual- sexual element in his eyes and bearing is almost too much, as if he's been directed to send out a stronger, hotter message. Occasionally I've found myself thinking he's over-acting, but mostly his choices as an actor -- jumping out window, leaping across roofs,, singing, dancing, dueling, fighting -- are brilliant, unpredictable, amazing.

I think that most people, watching one of the very famous star actors in a film have the star's persona, the star-actor's name in their minds, not the name of the character. Can you imagine seeing a movie with Cary Grant, not thinking it's "Cary." Even when Charlton Heston did those TV sitcoms, he was always Charlton Heston, "Moses," or Ben Hur."

So why hasn't Banderas become one of those top stars? Is it the scripts, the producers, the breaks?

In the most recent photos of him, like this one with his wife, Melanie Griffith, Banderas seems to have a different cheek bone structure. Was his face "fixed?" Or is it his short-cropped hair, or the fact that he's 51-years-old? (Aging is tough for everyone, but for an actor it can be devastating, especially an actor like Banderas, who's forte has been playing the leading man/lover.)

Will Antonio Banderas become a major star name? Has the time passed for him? Was he hurt by his marriage to Melanie Griffith? Maybe her determination to remain head-to-toe young/sexy/gorgeous is influencing him.

I don't know. I know actor John Cullum, who is not a major movie star, is never aware of how he looks, and doesn't rev up emotion, never over-acts. Cullum figures out who the character is in terms of the story,. and searches for the positive elements in the role -- who and what the character loves and what he 'wants to achieve.

What can I say to the handsome Antonio Banderas? Based on my experience as director/wife, I'm saying Antonio B, be YOU less, be the person you are playing in the show much more. The time hasn't passed. You have already "made it."