TALKING TRUTHFULLY about what nags you, worries you you need to express bluntly your real thoughts===taint easy to do...you got to practice expressing what you really feel....yes that is what I try to do every day when I am writing or sort of  personal blog/  truth....some days it turns out sad and dreary---those are the peroanlblogs  i write and they can be depressing, dreary and not really truthful.  look at a ckcok..see there time,  can you try to tell the true truth for a hour?  or do you  lapse in making the truth more feasible,,,,if you say Yes YES  Y E S  hurray for you,,,,,i think you think you are being utterly truthful even when you are shading whats true,,,,,,,

PICK " MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG ---KEEP  VERY SIMPLE..... EASY TO SAY ....

 each place I lived in during my years in Harrisburg has significantly affected why Harrisburg Pennsylvania IS NOT WHERE I CHOOSE TO LIVE. 

 IT HAS TO DO WITH LIMITED STRAIGHT-LACED pERSONALITY THAT IS TYPICAL FOR  PEOPLE WHO GREW UP WORKING IN AN AREA WHERE PEOPLE WORKED, AND WERE MOSTLY EMPLOYED BY THE LOCAL GOVERMENT, YES, LOCAL "ART" WAS PROFOUNDLY INLUENCED BY LOCAL EMPLOYERS  WELL AS WELL AS ARTISIC INSTITUTIONS.

 north fifth street.. in harrisburg pennsylvania  the SHABBY RATHER DINKY OLD HOUSE A SMALL OECE OF LAND with NO GRASS TO MOW had one TREE THAT SHED LEaVES that  I raked  on SATURdAYS when DADDY DRwhere he drove me once a week TO HIS dress FActory  on the SIde  of town. schoool mates a once a sweek dmired some of the sample dresses dad gave me usually a sample dress t--will lways remember  the blue AND WHITE BLUE AND WHiTE DRESS  THAT I ASKED  school mate Martha - "do I look like a danceR?   MARTHA SAid NO  BECAUSE IT WAS NOT A DRESs  SINCE IT WAS NOT A DRESS my SCHOOLS BEST DANCER WHO DID  "toe tape dancing" like GOLDIE SHAwl. T i took dance lessons i OOK LESSONS THE LINNEKIN SCHOOL. MYTEACHER  WAS GUNDREN.GALLOWAY.  SHE GAVE ME  cHIFFON SCARF  to WAVE AS A I DANCED, AND PRAISED  THE WAY i DID A  'tour jete.  

I was not good at math and best friend MArTHA COLON  and FLUNKED ANd DIED  whEN DAD GAVE ME A mexican sstyle that Martha said was "CUTE "when we moved to 1822 my sister miriam had an attic room where I LEARNED  TO DRAW, and lived  in a room  wHERE I COULD PRACTICE AND STRETCH MY FEET which were never great feet for dancing. 

NEW PROJECT FOR JD

 Someplace  there's an big deal percolating that could/would/ should re vamp  our son 's quiet, innermost thinking,

Write a book about the Kid who knew he had a birth defect that made him very different from kids he palled around with in school..

How and when did he find out what was wrong with him? Was it looking in a mirror and seeing the scars on his abdomen he got from surgery?  Did he realize his anus was created  by surgery?  Did he read medical stuff--did Dr. Anthony Shaw  tell him.  (Shaw saved his life when he was born. Jd could't breathe.) How did our son find out what was wrong? 

When did JD punch his bedroom window--literally put his fist through the glass? 

The pschiatrists that were consulted --advice he was given-- only further infuriated JD.  Other doctors wanted a fully detailed story of his background and my prenancy. 

 What was the best advice?  Does it linger  in his mind? Did he confide in anyone? Anwers to many questions  have never been discussed but the extremely articulate man has been profoundly affected  by being born with this major birth defect.  yes, oh my yes, HE PUNCHED THE WINDOW.

WHAT WOULD  HE ADVISE SOMEONE WHO GREW UP THE WAY HE DID 

MOM SAYS, " JD JUST WRITE A BOOK ABOUT THIS, SEND A SAMPLE CHAPTER 1."

RE GROW YOUR HAIR?????

do you shave your head> 

jd  would be very sexy with long hair. 

try bulky huge big bunch ala angry black dangerous guy.  

WHAT ABOUT LONGISH HAIR LAYING ON YOUR SHOULDERS? 

use jeweled combs, bobbies. 

WHAT IFS.....

Dreams, ideas, recollections, wonderings are typical 

"WHAT IFs"

Imagination is a part of my life,  work,  creativity. 

 WHAT IFS--imaginary possibilities--that's what I need to dig into. 

Gotta let my mind meander around and find "hopes" that are here and there--"hopes" that found enough space here and there to lay around and find a spot where a small H like a seed,  gets comfortable  and grows like a seed, igoring its own sprouting tendril though  even though you may sense it's growing larger.  

Advice: 

Skip over "THINGS WITH FEATHERS" - and Emily Bronte's words and her recollections.  We need the word. I got bored with the topic having written about the topic more than twice. Just do it, and go into the whole discusssion all over again.  

Just do it.  

H    O    P     E