MR. HEKMAYTAR

It's a new name to learn.

All those foreign, un-pronounceable names of people and places we've had to learn ... Struggling with them, I'm amazed at the way names roll off the tongues of newscasters. The first few times I heard "Al Quaeda," it was pronounced differently by various announcers.

I'm still not totally sure -- is it "Kay-da" or "Ki-da?"

So who is this Hekmatyar person, and why is he suddenly important?

Reuters news said: "Gulbuddin Hekmatyar is a vicious, brutal, devious warlord. He could also be one of America's tickets out of Afghanistan."

(THAT got my attention! Afghanistan to me is a fire and brimstone hell where we shouldn't be -- where we're stuck, mired like other countries have been. Has anyone ever won a war there?)

Here's more (more tricky names and places), gleaned from other major news sites: "Shamshatoo Camp, just outside Peshawar has always been the most tightly organized and disciplined Afghan refugee camp in Pakistan. The only law within its boundaries is that of Hezb-i-Islami (the Party of Islam), led by the notoriously ruthless warlord Gulbuddin Hekmatyar."

(Apparently, Hekmaytar is a well-known killer. When the camp was his main base, people of Peshawar saw corpses floating in the canal that runs next to the camp, and knew they were the bodies of Hekmatyar's enemies.)

Washington knows all about him. They've been contacted by Hekmatyar's spokesman and told that Mr. Hekmatyar will have to be reckoned with, if America wants to wind down the war in Afghanistan.

Referring to the Party of Islam's 15 point peace proposal to Afghan President Hamid Karzai, that calls for a total U.S. withdrawal by the end of the year, the spokesman, Mohammad Daoud Abedi, (another name, a California businessman), says, "We have decided to make conditions right so that international forces can leave with honor."

So "WE" is Hezb-i-Islami, the Party or Mr. Hek? Is this good news, or is it a threat?

General Petraeus has told the Pentagon, "You make peace with your enemies, not your friends." Other officials in the Pentagon agree with Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who recently, declared, "It's too soon to begin discussing peace in Afghanistan."

What do "we the people" think?

I'm pacing, circling, dizzied with wishing, hoping, praying we end the endless war and get out of there. Why is it important that we leave Afghanistan with honor? Does honor mean we've won? Does winning prove we're more powerful than the Taliban? Does it say the Taliban has lost?

Win? Lose? In the eyes of which beholder?

Is it important because it proves -- sort of vaguely -- that the UN Forces have power, and must be dealt with? And an honorable exit will -- perhaps, maybe -- postpone other terrorist attacks?

Has terrorism terrorized us to such an extent that we let men die, so that we are winning, when we are not? Does war make the other guys our enemy? But we are their enemy!

For God's sake, for America's sake -- TAKE AWAY THE WORDS! SAVE THE LIVES!

SANDRA B.

A wall of women is around her, right now, hushing and shushing the invaders.

Who are the invaders? Everyone -- friends and relatives with advice.

And the media with a foray of questions, predictions, opinions (from other celebrities), and breaking news (confessions from adulteresses who insist they're involved). And the paparazzi trespassing with cameras and their own hungry eyes peering into her bedroom, and the doings of her husband Jesse J., who convinced her that she could love-him-trust-him-rest-her-mind, dispel her aloneness.

And he probably isn't what she thought he was.

I don't need to know the real story or the full story.

It's what love is. You can't control whom you fall in love with. You can try. But being in love is being out of control, and even IF, at moments, you perceive something you don't want to see, even IF a voice in you whispers that something doesn't feel right -- if you're in love, you cannot pay attention.

I wouldn't want to be a woman who has never experienced that.

And it's impossible to imagine that Sandra B, with her ability to be fragile subtle, funny, tragic, intense, logical, or impulsively illogical -- a woman who can DO and BE anything and has the intelligence to read scripts and know what roles to try -- it's difficult to believe she wasn't aware of the possibilities that her husband might be unfaithful.

So, did she make a horrible mistake? Blind herself to his vulnerability, his need for success, gratification, adulation? We will never know.

I don't trust anything we've been told, I don't trust the utterances from needy-greedy other women who have a chance now, to make themselves into an "name."

We like you Sandra Annette Bullock, admire you for your talent, and magical abilities to understand and represent so many aspects of what a woman is.

(That's the message I'm sending her -- she doesn't know me, I don't know her, I'm just part of the wall of women thinking about her, wanting to reach out to her.)

Handle it, do with it what you do when you take on a role -- breathe your way into feeling out what Sandra B. needs, wants, wishes, and can do.

DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ

I don't care about Iraq's democracy.

I don't trust it,

I don't like the lives lost, the money gone, in order to achieve this (important? ) change.

Skimming the good things, I keep reading about bad things.

Fraud was 40% in the first election. In this second election. it's estimated at (oh goody) 20%.

But the Sunni guy who opposes Shi'ite Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's gang (they call it his "coalition") thinks there's an élite counter-terrorism gang run by Nouri al-Maliki.

"It's totally political," whispers an aide. "If the Prime minister's a terrorist, why didn't they get him before he was elected?"

Oh? So who is "they?" I guess "they" is the power behind the power, the guys who make the decisions, but "they" seems to be some hidden group (coalition?) with NO names.

Mmm ... That's sort of, kind of, hard to applaud.

Anyhow, Bush set up "troops to be out end of August." Obama set up 50,000 support troops to be out by 2011.

Oh goody?

Vice President Biden said, "Democratic Iraq will be one of our great achievements."

Boo! I admire Biden, but boo! Is this achievement worth the death of Americans, the blotches of poverty that we have throughout the United States, because money we spent over there was money we needed to spend here?

I read somewhere that Iraq has 6,000 candidates for 325 seats in their parliament, and some 86 parties are taking part in the election. If that's good news, a hopeful sign, than I am a -- a dumb jerk?

(Well, maybe I am.)

Meanwhile,. U.S. soldiers are there. What's going to happen when they're gone?

Chalabi, an anti-Saddam guy we've supported, is gaining stature. Is that good or bad, and do I care? I'm worried about anti-Obama guys killing hope in America.

Joe Biden is an optimist. Others, who are delighted by the progress in Iraq, have their fingers crossed.

My fingers are crossed for us. Will we become the united, United States again soon?

CHILD IN THE PICTURE

I saw this in an advertisement that wasn't selling anything, except "Doctors Without Borders."

She's in Haiti, intensely concentrated, listening to the heart of a child.

The intense concentration of the child ... is he seeing something, feeling other hands that patted him, remembering someone, or is he seeing his mother lying on a pallet nearby?

We continue to hear about Hollywood people who are deeply involved, committed to helping homeless, devastated Haitians re-start their lives -- with food, and shelter, and much needed medicine.

The televised celebrity events are old news, forgotten publicity that tugged on one's "heart strings" in the way that famous performers know how to do. Today, I found some names to thank with a mention -- actor Jimmy Jean-Louis, actress Dania Ramirez, former NBA player Cliff Robinson, director Paul Haggis, the well known actors Josh Brolin, Diane Lane and Madeleine Stowe.

The picture haunts me because of the countless children in Haiti (and all over the world) who are lost -- so huge a number that being haunted is ... well, it isn't meaningless, but it's seems like self pity. How often have we seen parents and families mourning, sobbing, and watching them, we sense that they are crying for themselves -- weeping because they feel so helpless.

The picture and the look on the child's face tells me DO SOMETHING.

I didn't include actor Sean Penn in the thank you mention list -- he's in Haiti --what he's doing there is huge.

The 7.0 earthquake happened on Tuesday January 12 at 10.04.53 Eastern Standard time. The epicenter was 15 miles W.S.W. of Port-Au-Prince.

Penn arrived 9 days later, January 21, accompanied by 11 doctors, and a business person named Jenkins, with whom he has established a Haitian relief organization. He brought 1000 water filters. He said, "The idea of us being here is to make sure the aid gets to them."

He's s been in Haiti since then. He's worried because the rainy season is coming and thousands sleeping in the tent cities, where he's sleeping, will lose even that.

WHAT CAN I DO? Hold the picture of the angry child and the Doctor in my mind?

I'll hold it in my mind, keep it on my mind until l think of something I can do.

Right now I'll send money to the Jenkins Penn Haitian Relief Organization -- click here if you want to donate to them.