MALE MENOPAUSE

Before I ever read anything about Menopause and females, I was sure men suffered from monthlies. I noticed that men got moody -- got pent-up feelings the same as I did, as most women do, as their time of the month approaches.

It's bloating, inner tension -- headaches -- crampy feelings down there somewhere -- cranky, picky sensitivities -- these so-called PMS symptoms come on and take over every 25 days or so.

The "blue boo-hoos" is what I called them (still call them). (Out of nowhere, for no reason, suddenly I'd find myself shedding tears, feeling very sorry for myself -- I'd focus on my looks, or some stupid, tactical error I made a week ago, a year ago -- I'd find something that was bad, wrong, sad.

So if I'm right about guys, what brings on their monthlies? Is it a monthly thing? Or is it merely that every so often a man gets into a blue mood, and tries, gets very frustrated, when he can't throw it off?

I think it's a time-passing thing that has to do with life -- the seasons, the months, monthly routines, and the rhythms of a week -- weekend for fun that often isn't much fun -- anticipating the back-to-the-grind of Monday -- Wednesday, the sigh -- it's the middle of the week and the chores must be done today, or postponed, because it's practically Friday!

Work, chores, deadlines, recreations -- all of it's ordered (or not ordered at all), in a person's mind, and you feel time-passing -- you feel yourself ageing.

The sense of undone things, things, things accumulates! And builds, swells in a man mind, creates a pressure that bloats him, irritates, makes him cranky, picky, sensitive depressive -- he's got "MPS " (Male Pressure Syndrome). He needs to blow off the steam, let it out, let it go.

Maybe it's monthly because males and females echo each other -- moms and pops, gays or straights -- what affects one affects the other. Whether you're half of a couple, or all by yourself, you feel 25 to 30 days going, going, gone -- the name of the month, the season, is changing and you can't get the beginning of the month or the start of the season back.

Dr. Em says that's "Menopause." It is a pause. You might as well enjoy it. The regular, normal, ordinary, rhythm of life gets boring, annoying, infuriating, intolerable, keeps bothering you, swelling -- yes, swelling till you pop -- you yell, complain, punch a pillow, pick a fight, boo-hoo and you will feel emptier, skinnier, sort of energized, ready to reach out and grab on to the next bunch of new days.