SHREK

I don't like the look of him.

I don't like his down-to-earth, highly contagious bad manners and crudeness.

And whenever I see ads for those nasal sprays and cold medicines -- oh dear -- there's a repulsive congregation of cold germs ho-ho-ing, cavorting, proudly beating their chests -- greenish fat MUCINEX monsters who look like Shrek.

They're not cute. Shrek is not cute. To me they're repulsive.

How did we get this green, mocking, repulsive jock, this mutation in our lives?

A guy named Jeffrey Katzenburg, lover of Disney creatures, cartoons, and Rolling Stones/Beatles raucousness, birthed an animation format that outstrips the live-action film in imagination, skill and box-office appeal -- a creation, that is now DreamWork's famous, prize-winning, super popular "SHREK."

Yep, he's a cartoon generated image, (a CGI), with some actor's voice belching out of his mouth.

Katzenberg loves an occasional 3D-surprise, and Saturday Night Live takeoffs on "Cinderella," "Pinocchio," "Robin Hood," "Three Little Pigs," or "Snow White," and plenty of off-color asides for the older folks, and below-the-belt punches at real names in the news.

What bothers me the most?

I don't like the anti-culture that Katzenberg brings into our homes. Yes, it's spoofing, but it's creating a humor, a delight in the next and the next generation, a predilection to snicker, spit on, be bored by, avoid, turn away from, and yawn -- wake up for farts, toilet humor, crude "up yours," and painful down-playing of tenderness, love, respect kindness, innocence ... and, and, and ...

Well ... this animated feature is bright, brisk vaudeville that makes fun of everything, including itself and the multi-billion-dollar animation industry, and that is something that makes Katzensburg, DreamWorks, Pixar, other would-be animators, and the hundreds of accountants, theater owners, and investors fan-fantastically thrilled!

"SHREK" has had 3 sequels -- a Christmas special (Shrek the Halls), a Halloween special (Scared Shrekless) -- it's the 8th of the 10 Top 10 Films in the animated genre of Classic American Films poll by the American Film Institute -- it's number 2 in a Channel 4 poll of 100 Greatest Family Films (number 1 was ET).

And Shrek the Musical has had 441 performances on Broadway, Tony nominations and awards, and is currently on a North American tour, with a London West End production scheduled for June 2011.

Gee, that's jobs for a lot of our show biz friends.

Soo-o-o ...

I'm awarding "SHREK" and its creators an Em Award for brilliant, remarkable, amazingly successful, Artistic No-Goodery, even though I wish it wasn't creating a generation of laughers at stuff I don't find funny at all.