Tuesday, August 23, 2011


A Facebook friend,"N," sent me a message about "S" -- should she accept him as a friend?

I immediately thought "Sure!" I wondered why N. was so curiously careful about who were her friends?

I wrote her, and said "Sure" and explained why I enjoyed messaging back and forth with S.

Her dilemma has been cooking, stewing in my mind.

There's a full page advertisement in Time Magazine -- no worse than the daily dose of Viagra and Cialis ads -- about a touch, tender glance, and the fact that you guys need to be ready, capable of doing it.

Or the ads that promote that face lift with chicken-wire that sits in my head next to pills, creams, treatments that I might need -- don't need, will need -- because every day without them I am decaying.

Yes, I hate ads. But some of this stuff is viral. It makes you feel old, less effective, vulnerable. The offensive ad in Time -- a flower with droopy leaves -- a new lubricant for post menopausal women, who are experiencing painful intercourse -- I was jarred by it, tut-tutting, bothered, probably as my mother, and her mother were bothered by brassiere, corsets, and panty ads.

C'mon, shut up, you jerk -- you're making a big deal over nothing!" I told myself.

I know that sex, menopause, lubricants, contraception devices are out-in-the-open, palpable, current topics these days! But I am offended. Is nothing private anymore -- between you and yourself? (And maybe your doctor, if you trust your doctor.)

N.'s reluctance to take on a friend on Facebook without checking into who this "S" guy is, seemed unnecessarily old-fashioned. I mean -- why bother? -- your FB friends are not coming over for tea. You'll probably never meet them.

Hmm. N is being careful about what she allows in her life -- what she'll listen to, and pay attention to. Suddenly, like a full moon appearing out of nowhere, I'm seeing an important point.

Beware of what you take into your life. What ad, what sing-song, what religion, what designer, what fad, what words. -- they become a part of you. And whatever is a part of you will affect your loved ones, your kids, your companion, and your real friends whose words -- whether you like them or not -- sit in your head.

A lot of junk -- violence, hatred, bad manners, stupid fashions, fads, trends, fears -- and politics -- are already in that crowded, jam-packed space. We're got to stop watching dumb, brain-washing stuff!

You can't?

Then, start turning off that damn TV whenever you see something offensive. Give it a try. You'll have more time/space/passion for what's important to you.


Carola said...

Sorry, I just can't imagine having a bunch of Facebook "friends" who aren't my real friends. But I don't do Facebook, and I am hopelessly old-fashioned. I do know a lot of people (academics and artists mostly) who have to have Facebook for professional reasons, so I can understand why people have Facebook "friends."

eddie rotten said...

Media definitely doesn't cater to privacy or moral. They don't have to either. Tv and radio have been merging what media feels the new American family will accept as being appropriate. In reality, yesterday's R is today's PG. There's actually a movement pushing for nudity on regular daytime programming... "so we can keep up with the rest of the world".
Facebook is the same way. Slowly the caliber of sponsors falls to the wayside so ads can make their point. After spending years in radio, I can testify that the campaign to demoralize America is very strong. At the end of the day, your free will dictates who you are, what you'll accept in your life, and what legacy you'll leave behind.

Anonymous said...

Good subject for discussion Em! I agree with what you said about turning the TV off alot.
And I agree with Eddie. Life's too short not to swim against the current sometimes and reach a new shore with seashells and sand castles still on it...

Anonymous said...

@Em, very important topic thanks for bring it to our attention. @Kam (Anonymous) I agree with you you've said it beautifully. H.