I'm in limbo, wondering and worrying about what our Supreme Court will decide about the Health Care bill.
For years, I've thought of the court as a supremely wise, just, careful bunch of guys in robes, who weighed the pros and cons of every law that they, themselves, decided to evaluate.
The Supreme Court was -- to me as a child -- like the Constitution -- hey, like the flag itself -- an unassailable part of my world.
It was the faces carved in the side of a mountain -- the pledge allegiance words -- one nation, liberty and justice words we said every day.
And I was in the center with my family and friends, surrounded and protected by teachers, preachers, president, congressmen, senators -- and they were surrounded by thousands of men and women in uniform who were watching over them as they were watching over me in my home.
As I grew up I learned that sometimes the golden-iron, unbreakable, impermeable thing of truth and honesty -- the trust I had in the circle of guys,
got shattered -- they quit, did bad things, got jailed, or just disappeared, but the others in the circle always came together and their togetherness took away the fear that nothing was safe.
My child self is just expressing my need for someone to be there, protecting advising, making sure we're safe.
As an adult, I can deal with what might be BAD doings by a Justice -- something in a background check, details about what they voted for previously or opposed, or some political statements they've made that reveal bias or seriously out-of-date ideas.
I close my ears and file it away. I realize my allegiance is pledged to those eight people in black robes, whom the main guys in the circle put there to study the whys and wherefores of the laws, past and present, in our country.
But that's why I'm frustrated, frightened, refusing to contemplate what might happen if the Supreme Court decided to throw out the health care bill, or restrict it in ways that defeat its purpose.
Remember the story of the Dutch boy who saw that the dykes in Holland were leaking, and put his finger in the hole and tried to save his country?
That's how I feel. There are leaks in the dyke and I can't stop the flooding.
Panic doesn't help. Moaning, complaining, arguing -- telling each other, reminding each other again and again how this Justice or that Justice did something bad or wrong doesn't help.
I think we have to sit tight and wait for the Supreme Court's rulings on health care are announced. Then see what the man we trusted and pledged allegiance to when we elected him, the President, the guy who got us healthcare -- see what he says and does, and go along with him as he handles what needs to be handled and moves ahead.
That's what I'm going to do so I won't go crazy with worrying.