Friday, October 12, 2012


Kama Sutra

Uh oh, the first thing that hits me about this topic is -- how do I  refer to the Big O? 

Zoom! I'm back to when I was writing my  book, "Somebody (Woman of the Century)." I started writing it in 1985, more than 30 years ago. It was the first time I had to use the word, vagina.

Are  you laughing? Today, the word is used often and very easily in tea time  conversation, in books, in various slang/curse forms in plays, poems,  and songs -- in religious sermons, and advertisements.  But back in the  old-fashioned days of the eighties, my first thought was NOT to use the V  word -- maybe use the word "climax," and refer sort of poetically,  metaphorically, to a "transcendental experience."

To me, "transcendental' was a spiritual, non-verbal experience that amazed, that couldn't be defined. Like "fizz" -- how would you describe fizzing?

By the way, as you're reading this, if you are expecting to find out something about my sex life, quit now. Most of this rambling is me revving myself up to say what I want to say about the BIG O.
Yoga "Orgasm" pose

I'm no longer old-fashioned.

I've written six books, each with female heroines, and at least six sex scenes. Sex is such an intrinsic aspect of one's life -- heroines wouldn't be heroines if they didn't have bad dreams and good dreams about romantic things.

I have recently read two rather hot articles about orgasms.  One describes a woman who has a painful, rare condition that causes females to have many, many orgasms -- even one-hundred a day. It's a persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD). 

The woman described in the article was a nurse.  She sat on a bags of frozen peas during one extremely painful, four-day episode of constant climaxing.

Dr. Marcel Waldinger, neuropsychiatrist, authority on PGAD, said, "It's like a toothache in the wrong place, a neurological disorder stemming from the pudendal nerve, the sensory neuron that triggers arousal. Some drugs may diminish the sensation, but at the moment, there is no long-term effective treatment." 

The other hot article reviews a book titled "Vagina," a biography by Naomi Wolf, established, published author of "The Beauty Myth," who was an assistant to Al Gore during his presidential campaign, advising him on how to appeal to women. In her new book's introduction, Wolf said, “It is not only coextensive with the female brain, but also is part of the female soul, a gateway to, and medium of, female self-knowledge and consciousness themselves.”

I think she's saying a woman is, basically, her vagina.

You can Google "orgasm,"  and find the hot articles, and reviews on Wolf's book.  It is now a big best seller.

What fascinates me is that I wanted to write about "orgasms."  I knew I'd get lots people reading this blog-post because of the title. Say "orgasm," say "let's talk about the BIG O," and eyes open, minds grab onto the idea because it is still a forbidden topic.

My old-fashioned fears about writing sex scenes and using the words for the genitalia is not out of date -- it's what lots of other people feel.  Sex specifics are still "dirty" -- sinful, prurient, forbidden, and thrilling, exciting, stimulating -- titillating, in a way that many, many people think is bad, wrong, definitely a no no.

So, Tell the truth out loud, inwardly to yourself.

Why did you read this?

You probably read it because the subject intrigues and titillates you.


crystallized said...

I read it because I am currently writing my first book and all knowledge is good knowledge. I don't think the word orgasm is as taboo any more but I cringe every time I write a sex scene and think "My mom is going to read this."

OR said...

I love orgasms. Ain't those the ones they play in churches? You know, a bit like the piano. Right! Ha ha!

Anonymous said...

I am extremely open about sex and yet I grew up in a time and in a home where sex was either not discussed, or when it was, it was said in hushed tones or with negativity atached to it.

It took me a long time (in my 20's) to not feel guilt for having sex with multiple partners. I should say that this was in the time of the "Sexual Revolution", when the pill was the gateway to sexual freedom.

I am so glad that I was a single woman in those times and that I finally freed myself emotionally to simple adore sex without thoughts of my mother and guilt.

Linda Phillips

Anonymous said...

What an interesting topic today Em. I like the painting also with this blog, although I could never contort my body to that position. I also feel sorry for the nurse that has 100 orgasms per day....I would pass out and be in the hospital if that were me! thanks for sharing this exciting topic. kam

JD Cullum said...

I'm very relieved you didn't delve into your personal experiences. I'm a grown man but I'm still your son!

Unknown said...

As I write erotic romance I deal with orgasms…a lot. The hardest thing when you’re writing more than one big O in a book is to not describe them all the same way. There are only so many words in the english language and it’s not that easy to describe something that is basically indescribable…unless that’s just me lol

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