I am stuck. I don't like to be wrong! I think the messages I've been getting on FB that say, "Em, you are wrong," have upset me.
I thought I was just exchanging thoughts, back-and-forthing with guys, who wanted to comment on something they read in Em's Talkery.
Are the guys, the ones saying you are wrong, Em, saying this because they have the right idea -- a RIGHTER idea? Golly, I haven't been thinking about RIGHT and WRONG, or passing judgment on what is right, or what is wrong.
Yes, I'm being criticized for being judgmental, but hey -- I can't walk down the hall, or go outside, or read a book, or phone a friend -- I can't do or say anything without being judgmental. If I see or feel something that bothers me, confuses me, or interests me, I have to look at it and react to it, and reacting -- well -- I have to decide if I like it, or don't like it, or why it's annoying me, boring me, or making me turn away.
Golly, when I blog about a subject -- I toss it into the air, and see where it lands. Does it hit someone on the head, flop onto a shelf, or plop into a wastebasket and knock over something else, and make a mess?
Hmm ... Maybe it's better for me NOT to have friends -- I was okay, NOT UPSET, back in 2008 -- alone, all by myself, finishing my novel, "Woman of the Century" -- just occasionally reading a page aloud to my husband, being annoyed with him if he didn't get it, or thought I need to explain more, or less.
With my FB friends, Twitter pals, and all the neighborhood buddies that I've got nowadays, probably the best thing to do is NOT write today, not JUDGE, not DECIDE about anything, and not get opinions.
Even so, I can't help wondering if it bothers other people -- upsets them when people tell them you are wrong. If I ask other guys and they say YES it bothers them, then maybe I'm not wrong, I'm right, and if I don't write today, I'm handling being wrong, and then, tomorrow if I write, I'll be definitely alright-writer-right..
Ergo, all this is just worn-out Em's worry-warting-right-and-wrong word-war? So I'm okay?
Okay, I am almost am.
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2 comments:
People aren't very nice on the Web. They should say "I disagree with you" or "I think you may be mistaken about this" - the kinds of things they would say to your face.
Em, I think you may misunderstand the points being made, is that possible?
When J.C. critiques you he may understand he may not understand but he does not love you any less. When you perform, you are putting yourself out there for others to judge, how they judge your dance or choreography depends on many variables and a process that they use. If they're being 'judgmental' their critiques are not helpful or useful. I'm sure that when you watch dance, you are using a process that is not available to or known by most in the audience. I do understand that you are evaluating people using your 'feelings' that's fine, if that works for you successfully. But many people as you know don't know the difference between being 'judgmental' and using a process to judge to reach a conclusion. As you have discovered in the past from your blog, hateful 'judgmental' comments are not useful to anyone and prevent understanding. I'm sure that as an artist and a person,, based on what I see you post on your wall and messages you send you encourage others you do not undermine them with 'judgmental' hurtful statements. You always are being helpful and honest with statements that are beneficial to the situation or the individual. Love and hugs, Heather
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