MURDER - DEATH - SCANDAL NEWS

On the HLN Channel, OH MY -- double, triple, heavy-duty toil -- by the commentators.  (It's a national television network, a spinoff of CNN, that focuses on the “must-see, must-share” stories of the day.)

Jane Velez-Mitchell, wonderful blonde streaks in her hair, is sexy-delectable -- peppy, passionate, fearlessly friendly, outspoken, and opinionated about who committed the crime, killed, abused, or might be responsible for the latest victim. Over and over, in the course of a segment, she relates the clues, the horror, her shock, sympathy and who-dunnit suppositions.

Hip hip hurray! Jane's clear-speaking, entertaining, worth watching.

Nancy Grace is the oh-so-wise, so knowing, so doomful judge, jury, prosecutor, with I KNOW I'M RIGHT in her voice, as she melds bits of information that prove her instinctive conviction about the "suspect."  Oh yes, Nancy is righteously right, and stand-up straight, confident. Retaining the look the makeup that professionals gave her when she was dancing on Dancing With The Stars, a happily married mother of twins, with thousands of cases she's judged under her belt, Nancy KNOWS.

Hooray! Nancy hypnotically convinces you that her perception of what's right and wrong is the only valid perception.

Dr. Drew -- the wise, urbane, non-judgmental doctor -- there he is, stirring the ingredients of the latest rumor news -- mixing it, whipping it up into a psychoanalytical revelation -- spicing it up with simplistic sexual connotations -- adding his own manly understanding of what makes a person tick -- clearly you can trust this friendly, unpretentious, exceptionally observant, open-minded doc who modestly admits, every so often, that he's highly trained.

Applause -- for Drew's practical, logical perspective on current cultural realities, that advises us on how to tolerate what's going on, and remain objective, no matter what.

Um, what was it yesterday?  Rihanna dating the guy who beat her up? "Co-dependency!" said Jane. Nancy was teary-eyed over the latest missing or murdered baby, while Drew was comforting a formerly famous celebrity who'd just revealed that she was sexually abused.

What a trio, how conveniently entertaining, and repetitive -- perfect for dinner time -- miss a minute here or there, and you still know what's going on, despite interruptions by phone-caller-fans, who ramble on about how they adore Jane-Nancy-Drew, how they tune in every day.

With praise pouring into the potful, the yummy stew of tragedy, passion, violence -- oh my!

It's double trouble to digest -- and not feel -- even though for us, none of it is very real.