Tuesday, June 25, 2013


What's really real? Sometimes what you imagine is real is realer than ANYTHING.

You dwell on it, live with it, examine and re-examine, define, re-define, and spent tons of time on denying whatever it is, but the more you think on it, try to handle it, the larger, messier, more complicated it becomes.

Beware -- this is the way an obsession gets born.  It distracts you.  It keeps you awake when you ought to be sleeping. Like -- am I too old to wear hot pants?  Why hasn't my agent phoned me?  Hey, was that little cramp in my chest my heart?

Some obsessive thoughts are worries.  Others are fantasies, like, gee -- I could have made a lot of money on that idea!  Golly, I could have been a star.  

How to stop it, nip it in the bud, blap it, bomb it out of your mind?

Write it down?

Grab a  pen, a piece of paper, name it -- spell it out. Pin the specifics about the thought on the paper -- the phone call you ought to make but haven't made -- you'll phone on what date? Put down the name of the person, a summary sentence, what you need to do to fix/change/end what you've been thinking over and over.

Or skip writing it down. Just phone someone, anyone, and mention what you've been thinking and when you hear yourself verbalizing whatever it is -- hey, you'll realize it isn't so awful, so important, or so urgent. If you hate to phone, mention it in an email, or tell the mail man, the delivery boy -- say -- I've been so busy worrying I haven't found out how you're doing?

Any obsession is like a rock -- too big, too heavy to pick up. You can't move it but you can pick up something nearby -- a pebble, a pinch of dirt, and ponder it.  Put it next to that big old rock and hey -- the rock's just an old part of the scenery that, once upon a time, was dirt, a pebble, or maybe a bunch of 'em that got stuck together and -- hey -- whatever you were obsess-ifying over, is gone.

Go look in the mirror.  Wear the hot pants. Comb your hair.  Smile.


Peggy Bechko said...

There's a great message in here, Em. Good on you for getting it out. Everyone seems to obsess and worry to much.

Unknown said...

WONDERFUL advice, Em!

Don't worry, be happy! :)

Carola said...

Another facet of this: If you get terribly upset about something that shouldn't be all that upsetting. Perhaps it's pushing an old button for something else in your past that you barely remember. Once you figure out what that old event is, you'll feel much better.

Poet_Carl_Watts said...

Writing it down is excellent advice and works very well. Finding something bigger to worry about will also often handle a worry. Or just get out and go for a long walk. Action handle worries very well. Production trumps them thoroughly!

Anonymous said...

Wise words. But I'm not going back to hot pants!

Linda Phillips said...

I have my own craziness. I often think that friends are angry with me. Especially if I have emailed them and don't get a reply.

9 times out of 10 they were just busy. Not knowing that, I think to myself "What have I done to upset them?" I spend all kinds of time obsessing about it and often work myself up into a semi wreck over what usually turns out to be a great big nothing!

Anonymous said...

My mirror would crack if it were to see me in hot pants. Kidding aside, great advice. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

YEP you hit a nail on the head. I worry, and think, why this and why that? However I am like the one person who said it someone don't e-mail me back, I am thinking there are mad at me. I worry, I worry about things but most of my worry is worth worrying about. I know that might sound silly but I do. I will not tell you all what I worry about, it is to personal. Yep, I love these blogs and the people who reply are awesome. I try to stay up beat as much as I can. Truth is it is hard on me, but I do it for my family who would worry about what I worry about, then more of us would be worrying about the same thing, and there is no need in having others worrying about what is worrying me.
Okay, Now back to the e-mail thing- usually people are busy and they e-mail later - much later. However, I always hope people are doing great, have roof over your head, shoes on your feet, food to eat, and your bills paid. Okay, that is worth more to me then any thing, because at this time those things get hard on some of us and that makes worry. Thanks EM, I hope you can stop worrying, your a lovely person. Awe one more thing, NO hot pants for this chick. Oh my word talk about funny, would be me in hot pants, people would turn cold instead of hot....LOL> no way. Have a great day everyone. You all are super!

Anonymous said...

I do fret. Not always while playing guitar. Doing something for someone else helps.

Dustspeck said...

I'm not really passionate about anything that much anymore; so, I'd have to say no I just can't get to that.