DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER?

This picture is a collection of facts, by Lauren Streib, from "Scientific Research" published on the Data Beast page, of "NewsBeast."

Though some say the magazine is going downhill, it's giving me uphill information -- it's chock full of specifics. Right off the bat, it tells us that being female is a big advantage. Therefore, if you're a male, gather the factors -- you can live longer if you adapt, convert to some of these womanly ways.

"YOU ARE FEMALE" -- Okay, I am.

"SEVENTH-DAY-ADVENTIST" -- My Jewish background negates longevity a little, but I'm mostly irreligious -- maybe that's helpful?

"YOUR MOTHER WAS 26 OR YOUNGER WHEN YOU WERE BORN" -- Mom lied about her age, I'm not sure how old she was.

"YOU LIVE IN AN AREA WITH LITTLE POLLUTION." -- Hooray, there are no smoke stack industries in the Chelsea section of Manhattan where I live.

"YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH DAILY" -- Yes -- twice a day -- maybe that give me extra longevity points.

"YOU STARTED FORMAL SCHOOLING AT AGE 6" -- Yes (at 5), does that gives me extra points?.

"YOU LIVE IN A RIGHT WING DICTATORSHIP" -- Right now, the Republicans are definitely a right wing dictatorship. That's sort of hopeful news about the bad politics going on these days.

"YOU ARE COMMITTED TO YOUR WORK." -- Definitely yes! I'm sure I get double points on that!

"YOU DRINK AT LEAST TWO CUPS OF TEA A DAY," (Coffee, so probably I'm getting the requisite caffeine.)

"YOU EAT 25% TO 30% FEWER CALORIES THAN THE RECOMMENDED DAILY ALLOWANCE." -- Yep! That's me!

"YOU DON'T DRINK SODA OR EAT PROCESSED FOODS THAT CONTAIN PHOSPHATE." -- That's more or less me.

"YOU ARE A FAN OF EXERCISE BUT DON'T OVER EXERCISE." -- Yes! .

"YOU EAT A MEDITERRANEAN DIET." -- um -- (Googled it) -- yep, I'm eating a Mediterranean diet.

"YOU HAVE YOUR OVARIES" -- Yep.

"YOU ARE AN OPTIMIST." -- Most of the time.

"YOU HAVE THE LONGEVITY GENETIC MARKERS THAT MAY COUNTER GENES FOR ALZHEIMER'S, CANCER, AND OTHER AGE RELATED DISEASES." -- Mom lived till her mid-nineties so probably my genes are okay.

Hey, it's good news! Give it a try -- you might be climbing uphill as you answer these questions.